Yummy!

While visiting a "large city with a large concentration of Orthodox Jews" recently (I'll let you guess where), I stopped into the only store I like in the area.

A Jewish book store.

Can't stand the city otherwise. Too crowded, too many people, too much triple parking. I need wide open spaces with flowers and trees.

So, I'm cruisin' around the store, seeing if there are any books that catch my eye, and I see this.

(Can you tell that I figured out how to add images to Blogger?)

I think I gasped and grabbed it off the shelf like it was a diamond.

From Lokshein to Lo Mein, written by Donald Seigel, is a very simple cookbook that has all kosher Chinese recipes. The recipes appear to be very simple, and provide workarounds for how to make Chinese food that isn't treif (non-kosher). For example, I've bought some Chinese vegetable buns from the freezer section in my local market. They tasted horrible when I "steamed" them in the microwave, and knew that they need some sort of sauce, but I wasn't sure what. Of course, I could have Googled it, but I don't have a computer in the kitchen (yet). This cookbook recommends a specific sauce to go with it, and explains how I can steam things in my wok. It has great stir fry recipes that I can't wait to try, and all kinds of chicken, beef and tofu dishes that I've always wanted to try myself.

It's also very funny, and provides a little background about the relationships between the Chinese and the Jews. The section about "the Jewish Experience in China" is very enlightening. Apparently Jews had been in China hundreds and hundreds of years ago, and were so numerous at one point that an emperor celebrated Jewish holidays. That really blew my mind. Even our esteemed President, George W. Bush, barely knows about Chanukah.

Buy the book, people. It's really not that expensive - it's $19.95 on Amazon (and that's what I paid in the store).

Meet Reyna!

I've seen the Gali Girls website in the past, a website that sells Jewish oriented dolls and books, and thought it was a nice idea.

But now they've done something that American Girl hasn't been able to do. They've come out with a Chinese doll and accompanying book.

Reyna is a little girl who is growing up in Kaifeng in 1175 and undergoing all kinds of exciting adventures as detailed in her book, Reyna and the Jade Star. She comes in traditional Chinese dress, with a magen david necklace, a Shabbat kit, and has other available outfits.

Unfortunately, it's not coming out until July. Not soon enough for me!

(My husband has been notified that he MAY WANT TO PURCHASE A PRESENT FOR ME AT THE BEGINNING OF JULY. AND THE EXACT NATURE OF SUCH PRESENT HAS ALSO BEEN INDICATED. That's all I'm saying).

(Courtesy of Ellen from my jfwcc group)

Yes, I admit it. We've been procrastinating.

I actually put in a huge amount of effort into getting the loads and loads of documents neccessary for our dossier, right before Passover, but nothing since. There's just been a lot going on, plus we're waiting for a new copy of my husband's birth certificate.

But, I got a good kick in the rear yesterday. We finally attended our first FCC event. We joined sometime in March or April, and immediately started getting A LOT of emails. The local FCCs are very, very busy, and NYC has a lot of China oriented events that FCC advertises. However, being that we're Orthodox Jews, we cannot attend the Saturday events or events held in churches. And we're not too comfortable attending events in treif (non-kosher) restaurants. But, finally, a local chapter was having a get-together for parents who were waiting or recently returned. It wasn't on Saturday, in a church or in a restaurant. Just someone's back yard. Again, we couldn't eat their food, but that's not such a big deal.

We showed up a little late so that most of the attendees would have pretty much eaten already (and wouldn't focus on us sitting there, sipping our Cokes while they has sushi and salads and other yummy looking food), and brought a kosher dessert to share. I was actually hoping to go a little incognito. I didn't want to make a big deal about our religion. My wig doesn't look that, um, wiggy, and my husband was dressed in his casual clothes with a baseball cap. Of course, the hostess, who isn't even Jewish, works at a Jewish Day School and recognized our status as an Orthodox couple immediately! Oh well.

Not that I minded being recognized as an Orthodox Jew, it's just that I didn't want it to put up too many barriers, or make the hostess uncomfortable about us not eating, etc. She apologized about 10 times. And we probably gave the other non-religous Jews there guilt complexes. But, everyone welcomed us very nicely and we met about 6 other couples. We got to drool over see some other Chinese adoptees of various ages (the oldest was 9), and even got to meet a mother and daughter who just came back from China three weeks ago. Her daughter seemed to be very well adjusted, and, while staying in her mother's arms, interacted with everyone else in a positive manner.

Ok. I admit it. I GOT TO TOUCH A CHINESE BABY. FINALLY.

It may not have been my baby, but I finally MET ONE IN THE FLESH.

I feel better now.

The other good part, other than the obvious positives of being able to network with other adoptive parents and sit around and complain about paperchasing and deadlines and referral times, is that I met another future adoptive mom (and dad, but I bonded with the mom) who is also using my agency and who sent out her I-600-A last week. We both realized that if I get my act together and send out my I-600-A this week, we can probably DTC together.

Oh my. I may have actually met a travel companion. And we really, really hit it off.

I am SO EXCITED NOW. And it will help to have a friend going thru the same process, getting on my case about paperwork. It's wonderful. Sometimes you just need that push!

So, hi, L! I hope we travel together! I'll email you tomorrow after we send out our document so that you don't yell at me on the phone!

Scott outdoes himself again (another great adoption video!)

Please visit The Cady Chase again. Scott has posted the most wonderful video of an SWI visit that I've EVER seen. Absolutely beautiful. They were so privileged to be able to meet their daughter's caretaker and thank her in person. Karen did a great job at showing her appreciation.

Oh phooey. I can't figure out how to link directly to that post (darn Macs!). Please go to their website and look for the posting titled "Hello Again" on 04/21/06.

And check out the rest of the videos. Cady is quite the little dancer! And giggler! And...is just overall cute.

Against All Odds, Twin Girls Reunited - CBS News

Against All Odds, Twin Girls Reunited - CBS News

I think this is the third time that I've heard about a pair of separately adopted girls from China being recognized as twins. What's really interesting is that the girls have made references to their missing twins before the relationship is discovered, like one girl telling her mother that she has a "hole in her heart", or asking over and over "where is my sister?", when she had no sister and her parents had no intentions of adopting another baby. There's probably no worse feeling than missing a twin that you used to know. I'm so glad that these girls found each other.

It's so nice to see these two (probably fraternal twin) sisters together! Enjoy the video!

For all of you out there who just can't wait for the matza...

Get more Matzah at ChaiSpace!




hint: click on the matza

Ok, this isn't working right now, but I'll leave it up in case it does decide to work later. Blogger has been a little funky lately.

You've Got Male?!

J of pomegranate has a great post up about the fact that 12.5% of the China referrals received by Spanish parents most recently were for boys, not girls. Because everyone associates the popularity of the Chinese adoption program with the girl abandonment (and boy preference) issue in China, these statistics are quite surprising. I think most, if not all, male adoptions from China are SN (Special Needs) adoptions.

What's funny is that I had a dream about this a few months ago. I dreamt that when we arrived in China and explained at the passport check desk why we were there, the soldiers manning the desk looked us up in the computer, and told us that our records were in order. And that our SON'S Red Army clearance had been processed, so we would be able to leave the country without a problem.

WHAT?

A boy?

Where did this come from? In my dream, even the referral was for a GIRL, so this was quite a surprise. But we figured that we needed to get past passport control and start talking to our agency, so we let it go.

And I don't remember what happened after that.

How weird is that? I can just see that happening. Because THAT'S MY LIFE. If there is some possibility of something happening during an event, such as my a** of my doctor sending me to the lab with an HIV request form, saying "don't worry, they'll accept it"...the lab won't accept it.

And when I have 12 eggs in an IVF cycle (not a great number in the first place), and some of them should fertilize (but, of course, it's possible that none will)...NONE of them will fertilize.

Which is why I'm adopting. I just can't deal with that crap anymore. (Imma, if you're reading this blog, sorry! Sometimes you just gotta curse!)

But how much do you want to bet that I'll end up with a boy referral, even though I requested a girl?

Now, I don't really care whether it's a boy or a girl. G-d willing, we're hoping to adopt at least a few kids. I was thinking of possibly doing two Chinese girl adoptions, and then maybe requesting a Chinese boy, or, if the likelihood of receiving a healthy boy referral from China was remote, possibly adopting a boy from Korea. Mentally, though, I'm preparing for a girl. But at the back of my mind, I know that if anyone's going to get an unexpected boy referral...it'll be me.

Editing notes: Why did I have to teach Blogger spellcheck the word blog? How weird is that?

Oh, and the HIV test was for my adoption physical. And I still don't have the results. Qu*est Di*agnostics should be closed down for ineptitude. So should that doctor's office.

This is a MUST LISTEN

YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS BROADCAST.

This is a radio broadcast from On Point Radio titled "Adopted Chinese Children". Its focus is China adoption, but they also discuss Korean adoption, simply because Korean adoptees are old enough for us to learn from them. Yes, it's long, but very worth listening to. You'll be horrified (and maybe cry) somewhere in the middle, but at the end, you'll be sobbing. I'm still crying.

But it's good stuff.

Please listen.

I can tell you one thing. I will do my utmost to make sure that my daughter has as much exposure as possible to fellow adoptees, preferably Chinese. When you hear the story in the middle, you'll understand why.

I *am* working on establishing relationships with other religous Jewish parents who have adopted from China. I already am close with a family who recently adopted from Korea, and at the party for their son, I met two other adoptive families, one who had also adopted from Korea, and one who adopted from Guatemala. They were very happy to meet us. We know we're going to need all the support we can get!

I'm also still trying to track down two more families in the area, Orthodox Jews who adopted from China. It hasn't been easy, but I *am* spending more time on paperwork now than on trying to track them down.... Establishing contact with them will be more important later when we have to endure the GREAT WAIT (which, to my dismay, I estimate may take at least 12 months after our dossier is sent to China, maybe even up to 18 months). I'll probably want to meet up with them and cry over their daughter.

I'm emotional like that.

Darn, I'm still crying over the radio presentation. Must stop.

(Link to radio broadcast courtesy of an adoptive family Yahoo group)

(Adoption) Video Night

I found quite a few videos tonight that I have to share.

First, a website not listed in my blogroll:
The Cady Chase
Scott & Karen's site (no, not the very famous Scott & Karen's Gwenblog, this is another Scott & Karen's website) *would* be listed in my blogroll if I could figure out how to subscribe to their feed. Really great website, and (probably since he's working on a Mac), he has *great* videos of their recent adoption.

While watching his videos on YouTube, I also found the following:
Adoption of our son Shen (he already has an older sister!)and
A Cambodian adoption video, the first one I've seen!. This was three years ago - I don't think Cambodia is open for adoption right now. This little girl is a CUTIE. It was interesting to see videos of some parts of Cambodia. I thought some parts of China were, um, rustic. I think Cambodia (or at least parts of the country) are worse off. Even the government offices looked pretty poor.

Wait. I just realized that the little girl from the Cambodian adoption video is the older sister from the Chinese boy adoption video! Wow.

Voyage to Meet Aveleen is also really good. This Canadian couple just met their daughter this past December, and she looks really tiny! She must have been very young at referral time. This video has a lot of great shots of Chinese architecture, Chinese people and various attractions.

There's lots more...but I have got to get to sleep. Search for "adoption" on youtube (skip the pet adoption videos), and you'll find a lot of great adoption videos.

Great, great pictures

Love Without Boundaries, a website for

a group of volunteers around the world who have realized that people who have a pure love for helping children can truly make a difference. We all donate our time and gifts in an attempt to brighten the lives of some of the world's most vulnerable children.

has posted their "Top 10 Pictures of 2005",. Such beautiful pictures! There were quite a few that made me cry....LWB seems to be a very worthy organization, going to China and helping the babies who need it most. They get help for babies who are cleft affected, get them to orphanages who can devote enough time to just FEED them, and get them appropriate medical care. They also provide foster care for children so that they do not have to stay in orphanages, and help orphanage provide the children's most basic needs: Food. Formula. Rice cereal. Things that you and I can pick up easily at the grocery store a short distance away, but that the orphanage cannot afford.

Check them out. And support them if you can.

Wow, I was right! Two Days to Save to Asia

Heck, I'm not DTC yet, but these prices sound MAD cheap!

From the Business Traveller newsletter:

ACT FAST, BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE TILL MIDNIGHT THURSDAY (March 23) to take advantage of United's "Spectacular Savings to Asia" special fares. Destinations include Bangkok, Singapore, Tokyo, Nagoya, Osaka, Beijing and Shanghai. Hop aboard United's wide-body jets nonstop to China and Japan, or one-stop to Southeast Asia. Sample one-way fares: Boston to Shanghai, $430; Los Angeles to Bangkok, $350; Chicago to Tokyo, $310. Tickets must be purchased at least 14 days before departure for travel off-peak Monday through Thursday between April 1 and May 18, 2006. A six-day minimum stay is required. For more information, visit www.united.com

Does this mean we won't have to spend a bloody fortune on plane tickets?

From a business traveller newsletter:

China Inks Aviation Deal With United States

BUILDING ON AN AGREEMENT BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES
SIGNED IN 2004, China and the United States have
signed a new bilateral aviation agreement. Under the
new agreement, the number of weekly flights between
the two nations will rise from 54 to 249 and the
number of permitted carriers from four to nine. U.S.
airlines will be allowed to add new flights in 2006,
2008 and 2010, and build hubs in China starting in
2007. Also, restrictions on 12 U.S. and five Chinese
cities will be lifted.

Happy Purim!

So, where are we up to?

One of these days, I will post a list of all the steps we have to go through. But this is what we've done so far:

* Chosen an adoption agency
* Sent in the application and application fee ($200)
* Had an intake meeting
* Went thru the homestudy ($1400 so far)
* Got DH's physical
* Scheduled my physical
* Got my employment verification letter
* Got DH's employment verification letter (but I think it won't be accepted)
* Got two referral letters
* Asked for a third referral letter
* Found our marriage and birth certificates and some other documents
* Realized that we have to get new passports next year
* Selected two dossier pictures of us w/family.
* Plan to take some nice formal pictures of us as a couple this Friday. Don't have to, but I've been wanting to do this anyways, so I finally have a good excuse.
* Will be sending in the i600a (Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition, or, as I call it "the form asking the government permission to bring in an alien baby") this week, without the homestudy. ($550+ dollars - don't remember the exact amount.)
* Will be sending in other types of documents to the agency this week as well.
* Will be taking pictures of our house as soon as the daffodils bloom, making the outside look real purty-like, and inside pictures, while the house is still clean and neat as a result of the grand homestudy cleanup.
* Will be taking more FAMILY TOGETHERNESS pictures during the festive Purim meal. Before everyone gets drunk. Or maybe after.

I just hope we don't have to wait 3-4 months before the USCIS processes the i600a and invites us down for a fingerprinting appointment. Pray, people, pray!

Wow! The homestudy was a breeze!

I still can't believe it. We found a great social worker who made the whole process very easy for us. The in-house meeting was very quick and to the point, and all she wanted to see were the common living areas and the room that would be the baby's room. Oh well...at least our master bedroom is clean & neat now. I'm trying to keep it up. We had already prepared answers to some of the questions we knew would come up, such as "how do you resolve conflicts between yourselves" (our answer: well, we discuss things and each other viewpoints and resolve them thru discussion - we left out the things like throwing beer bottles and shouting matches JUST KIDDING!), and "how do you plan to integrate Chinese culture into your lives?" (our answer: well, we've joined Familes with Children from China, are reading a lot about China, and plan to learn more, etc, etc).

And then she asked (are you ready for this?): Is there such a thing as a kosher Chinese food restaurant (in a tone indicating that she was expecting a no)?

When my husband and I picked ourselves up off the floor, as we were laughing too hard to stay in our chairs, we explained that in Jewish neighborhoods, first is the pizza store, and then there is the Chinese restaurant or takeout place. And we have three within driving distance of our house. And we know that sushi is Japanese, not Chinese, but they serve it anyways. She was QUITE happy with this answer. I also explained that my father was always into all styles of cooking, some of it Chinese, and that I grew up with a wok in the house, and didn't know how to cook rice without it when I got married and didn't have one. But my mother had recently given me her extra wok. And that my husband had bought me the aforementioned China, The Beautiful Cookbook, which I am planning to utilize. Someday. Maybe when my dossier is complete.

You definitely want a social worker who has a lot of experience in writing China homestudies. She knows what should and shouldn't go into the homestudy. As long as our criminal and abuse checks go thru ok, we should be fine. She even emailed us a draft the SAME DAY. Unbelievable.

So...we're getting our fingerprints done on Purim*, as we're both off that day and have time to go to the police station. Can you believe that we can only go to our local police station from 10am-2pm on a weekday? We would usually have to take off from work to take care of them. My sister who is currently living with us did her fingerprints last Friday. When the officer heard why she had to get her fingerprints done, he was very helpful, and also said that he knew of two other couples in our village who had adopted from China! I haven't met them yet. I think I'm going to have to drive around and stalk houses...just kidding.

Oh, and something interesting about the social worker. We mentioned to her that we knew of two other Orthodox families in the area who had adopted from China, and we knew their names, but we couldn't find them. Our mutual acquaintances lost their phone number, and they're unlisted! It turns out that she did the homestudy for one of the couples, and told us where they moved to. We, ahem, have since Googled them and found them...but she's going to call them first and see whether we have permission to contact them. She's on vacation right now though, so I can't ask her whether she's contacted them. I think they may have even used our agency, so that would be the experience with Sabbath observant Jews that they've had. So...if you think that you may be this family...can you please contact us? We'd love to talk (and drool enviously over your daughter...I'm sure you won't mind)!

* Purim websites (they can explain it better than I can):
Chabad.org
Aish.com

Yes, it involves alcohol, partying, costumes and a lot of food. Fun times.
But if you're yearning for children...it's quite stressful. Plus I accompany my husband to deliver Shalach Manos to certain important individuals who have been important in our lives, and I STILL GET THE STOMACH SCAN. You know, the "Hm, I wonder if she's pregnant, let me look at her stomach" look. Yo. I've been married ten years and I haven't been pregnant. EVER. My stomach is it's own fatty self. LEAVE ME ALONE.

I also find myself going to megilla readings that do not have a lot of children attending, as it's so, so difficult to see cute little kids in costumes...and me wanting one too....And with the way referral are going lately, it is quite likely that a)I will be in China RIGHT NOW this time next year or b)I'll still be waiting for my referral. So I may have to be tortured next Purim too...but I'll be closer to having one of my own to dress up in a costume. But she will not be dressed as an Asian girl costume. EVER.

Tearjerker of a video...and a worthy organization

Warning: this video will make you cry (via A Red Thread to China).

China Care is an organization started by a TEENAGER, who saw the plight of orphans in China. The video is from his appearance on Oprah. He's raising money to help fund operations for orphans with terrible birth defects, and to help get handicapped orphans adopted in the U.S.

The homepage explains it the best:

The predicament of orphans in China is something few Americans can fathom.

Every year tens of thousands of children are thrust into overcrowded, under-funded orphanages. They are abandoned because parents can't afford to care for them. Or, simply because they're born into an enormous population forced to maintain a policy of one child families. They are forgotten because there are simply not enough resources to provide adoption, foster care or even the basic necessities to such a large number of orphans.

And for children born with disabilities, the outlook is far grimmer. Even conditions corrected with routine medical procedures in America can render a child unadoptable and destined for an unthinkable existence in a cold institutional setting.

.

If you are looking for a way to help Chinese orphans...I think this would be a great way.

Dum, dum, dum dum....Time for the HOMESTUDY

One bonus to scheduling a homestudy this time of year?
EARLY PESACH CLEANING*.

This post was rolling around in my head, and then I read Karen's post about laundry (sorry, password protected)...and then my comment to her turned into this.

Until a few days ago, there was a huge gigantic enormous towering sizeable pile of things to be ironed/folded/mended in our bedroom. Clean clothes though. Hate ironing. I ended up with a huge pile after my last failed IVF (LAST SUMMER) and NEVER CLEANED IT UP. Never mind the (most likely) clinically depressed situation that I was in for, oh, four months or so. I was too busy obsessively reading adoption blogs researching adoption to fold and iron. I thought my husband owned two pairs of work pants, and that I had maybe four work outfits. I couldn't imagine what happened to all our clothes!

Amazing what a homestudy appointment will do for you. The pile is GONE. Two nights and one Sunday of ironing and reorganizing the walk-in closet, and we are FLUSH with clothing.

So proud of myself right now. And even more proud of Karen, who has many more challenges in her life right now than I have.

But I haven't been down to the basement lately, our unofficial laundry room. I avoid the basement at all costs. It's just darn ugly, full of everyone else's storage (all my family uses it for their storage, as I'm the one with room), it's the "overflow pantry" (and sometimes other things overflow there...like the sewage pump) and it irritates my asthma when it's damp. I wonder what's sitting down there?

Uh oh.

*Passover. Orthodox (and Conservative and some Reform) Jews rid their house of all leavened bread etc. before Passover, which usually entails a *lot* of cleaning, changing all of the kitchen dishes to the special Passover dishes, and so on. I'm sure I'll be b****ing complaining about it over the next six weeks.

Wait. Today's Rosh Chodesh (the beginning of the lunar month). Pesach is in SIX WEEKS? Deep breathing, deep breathing...let's get through the homestudy first...

This is a little different...

Wow. I read over 50 blogs written by people who have adopted from China, or are in the process of adoption, and have been reading most of them since last summer. But they're all pretty much living here, applying with an agency, going through the GREAT WAIT, and then travelling to China to pick up their precious baby.

Now, I've heard that there are some individuals who say, are foreigners living in China for a certain amount of time, who have found babies and have adopted them. The most famous family that I am aware of is Avraham and Rachel Schwartzbaum, who adopted their daughter Devora from China in 1972. They eventually became Orthodox Jews as a result of pursuing a conversion to Judaism for their daughter, and, later on, Avraham wrote a book about the adoption and raising Devora, called The Bamboo Cradle (I would put a link in here, but it doesn't appear to be in stock on the publisher's website or on Amazon).

Imagine my suprise today when I stumbled across this blog. Pam discovered a baby (with a severe birth defect) on her doorstep in China, back in 2003. She and her husband took the baby to the hospital, made sure she got medical care, and are in the process of adopting her. Such a beautiful story...please read her story yourself.

Fascinating.

They're in China right now!

Fling Poo has recently climbed up my list to be one of my all-time favorite blogs. This couple is in China right now, picking up their approximately two-year-old daughter, who is so, so cute. It looks like they're doing a wonderful job with transitioning her into their family, plus they're documenting everything so well!

First, check out their Metcha Day. When you've finished crying, read the update the next day, then what it's like to be the lone americans in a remote part of China and...just read the rest of the blog. Great stuff.
But make sure you don't miss this: How to cross the street. I thought crossing the street in Manhattan was bad.

Blogroll help

Hey, does anyone out there have a good solution for establishing a blogroll? I'm looking at Blogrolling, but just do not care enough to screw around, trying to get their template look more like my blog. Is there an easier tool out there?

I read a LOT of blogs, and would love to be able to link to them. But changing my template to include all of them is a nightmare. It would be great to import select Favorites or something. Or my Bloglines, which I don't want to make public.