Great, great pictures

Love Without Boundaries, a website for

a group of volunteers around the world who have realized that people who have a pure love for helping children can truly make a difference. We all donate our time and gifts in an attempt to brighten the lives of some of the world's most vulnerable children.

has posted their "Top 10 Pictures of 2005",. Such beautiful pictures! There were quite a few that made me cry....LWB seems to be a very worthy organization, going to China and helping the babies who need it most. They get help for babies who are cleft affected, get them to orphanages who can devote enough time to just FEED them, and get them appropriate medical care. They also provide foster care for children so that they do not have to stay in orphanages, and help orphanage provide the children's most basic needs: Food. Formula. Rice cereal. Things that you and I can pick up easily at the grocery store a short distance away, but that the orphanage cannot afford.

Check them out. And support them if you can.

Wow, I was right! Two Days to Save to Asia

Heck, I'm not DTC yet, but these prices sound MAD cheap!

From the Business Traveller newsletter:

ACT FAST, BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE TILL MIDNIGHT THURSDAY (March 23) to take advantage of United's "Spectacular Savings to Asia" special fares. Destinations include Bangkok, Singapore, Tokyo, Nagoya, Osaka, Beijing and Shanghai. Hop aboard United's wide-body jets nonstop to China and Japan, or one-stop to Southeast Asia. Sample one-way fares: Boston to Shanghai, $430; Los Angeles to Bangkok, $350; Chicago to Tokyo, $310. Tickets must be purchased at least 14 days before departure for travel off-peak Monday through Thursday between April 1 and May 18, 2006. A six-day minimum stay is required. For more information, visit www.united.com

Does this mean we won't have to spend a bloody fortune on plane tickets?

From a business traveller newsletter:

China Inks Aviation Deal With United States

BUILDING ON AN AGREEMENT BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES
SIGNED IN 2004, China and the United States have
signed a new bilateral aviation agreement. Under the
new agreement, the number of weekly flights between
the two nations will rise from 54 to 249 and the
number of permitted carriers from four to nine. U.S.
airlines will be allowed to add new flights in 2006,
2008 and 2010, and build hubs in China starting in
2007. Also, restrictions on 12 U.S. and five Chinese
cities will be lifted.

Happy Purim!

So, where are we up to?

One of these days, I will post a list of all the steps we have to go through. But this is what we've done so far:

* Chosen an adoption agency
* Sent in the application and application fee ($200)
* Had an intake meeting
* Went thru the homestudy ($1400 so far)
* Got DH's physical
* Scheduled my physical
* Got my employment verification letter
* Got DH's employment verification letter (but I think it won't be accepted)
* Got two referral letters
* Asked for a third referral letter
* Found our marriage and birth certificates and some other documents
* Realized that we have to get new passports next year
* Selected two dossier pictures of us w/family.
* Plan to take some nice formal pictures of us as a couple this Friday. Don't have to, but I've been wanting to do this anyways, so I finally have a good excuse.
* Will be sending in the i600a (Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition, or, as I call it "the form asking the government permission to bring in an alien baby") this week, without the homestudy. ($550+ dollars - don't remember the exact amount.)
* Will be sending in other types of documents to the agency this week as well.
* Will be taking pictures of our house as soon as the daffodils bloom, making the outside look real purty-like, and inside pictures, while the house is still clean and neat as a result of the grand homestudy cleanup.
* Will be taking more FAMILY TOGETHERNESS pictures during the festive Purim meal. Before everyone gets drunk. Or maybe after.

I just hope we don't have to wait 3-4 months before the USCIS processes the i600a and invites us down for a fingerprinting appointment. Pray, people, pray!

Wow! The homestudy was a breeze!

I still can't believe it. We found a great social worker who made the whole process very easy for us. The in-house meeting was very quick and to the point, and all she wanted to see were the common living areas and the room that would be the baby's room. Oh well...at least our master bedroom is clean & neat now. I'm trying to keep it up. We had already prepared answers to some of the questions we knew would come up, such as "how do you resolve conflicts between yourselves" (our answer: well, we discuss things and each other viewpoints and resolve them thru discussion - we left out the things like throwing beer bottles and shouting matches JUST KIDDING!), and "how do you plan to integrate Chinese culture into your lives?" (our answer: well, we've joined Familes with Children from China, are reading a lot about China, and plan to learn more, etc, etc).

And then she asked (are you ready for this?): Is there such a thing as a kosher Chinese food restaurant (in a tone indicating that she was expecting a no)?

When my husband and I picked ourselves up off the floor, as we were laughing too hard to stay in our chairs, we explained that in Jewish neighborhoods, first is the pizza store, and then there is the Chinese restaurant or takeout place. And we have three within driving distance of our house. And we know that sushi is Japanese, not Chinese, but they serve it anyways. She was QUITE happy with this answer. I also explained that my father was always into all styles of cooking, some of it Chinese, and that I grew up with a wok in the house, and didn't know how to cook rice without it when I got married and didn't have one. But my mother had recently given me her extra wok. And that my husband had bought me the aforementioned China, The Beautiful Cookbook, which I am planning to utilize. Someday. Maybe when my dossier is complete.

You definitely want a social worker who has a lot of experience in writing China homestudies. She knows what should and shouldn't go into the homestudy. As long as our criminal and abuse checks go thru ok, we should be fine. She even emailed us a draft the SAME DAY. Unbelievable.

So...we're getting our fingerprints done on Purim*, as we're both off that day and have time to go to the police station. Can you believe that we can only go to our local police station from 10am-2pm on a weekday? We would usually have to take off from work to take care of them. My sister who is currently living with us did her fingerprints last Friday. When the officer heard why she had to get her fingerprints done, he was very helpful, and also said that he knew of two other couples in our village who had adopted from China! I haven't met them yet. I think I'm going to have to drive around and stalk houses...just kidding.

Oh, and something interesting about the social worker. We mentioned to her that we knew of two other Orthodox families in the area who had adopted from China, and we knew their names, but we couldn't find them. Our mutual acquaintances lost their phone number, and they're unlisted! It turns out that she did the homestudy for one of the couples, and told us where they moved to. We, ahem, have since Googled them and found them...but she's going to call them first and see whether we have permission to contact them. She's on vacation right now though, so I can't ask her whether she's contacted them. I think they may have even used our agency, so that would be the experience with Sabbath observant Jews that they've had. So...if you think that you may be this family...can you please contact us? We'd love to talk (and drool enviously over your daughter...I'm sure you won't mind)!

* Purim websites (they can explain it better than I can):
Chabad.org
Aish.com

Yes, it involves alcohol, partying, costumes and a lot of food. Fun times.
But if you're yearning for children...it's quite stressful. Plus I accompany my husband to deliver Shalach Manos to certain important individuals who have been important in our lives, and I STILL GET THE STOMACH SCAN. You know, the "Hm, I wonder if she's pregnant, let me look at her stomach" look. Yo. I've been married ten years and I haven't been pregnant. EVER. My stomach is it's own fatty self. LEAVE ME ALONE.

I also find myself going to megilla readings that do not have a lot of children attending, as it's so, so difficult to see cute little kids in costumes...and me wanting one too....And with the way referral are going lately, it is quite likely that a)I will be in China RIGHT NOW this time next year or b)I'll still be waiting for my referral. So I may have to be tortured next Purim too...but I'll be closer to having one of my own to dress up in a costume. But she will not be dressed as an Asian girl costume. EVER.

Tearjerker of a video...and a worthy organization

Warning: this video will make you cry (via A Red Thread to China).

China Care is an organization started by a TEENAGER, who saw the plight of orphans in China. The video is from his appearance on Oprah. He's raising money to help fund operations for orphans with terrible birth defects, and to help get handicapped orphans adopted in the U.S.

The homepage explains it the best:

The predicament of orphans in China is something few Americans can fathom.

Every year tens of thousands of children are thrust into overcrowded, under-funded orphanages. They are abandoned because parents can't afford to care for them. Or, simply because they're born into an enormous population forced to maintain a policy of one child families. They are forgotten because there are simply not enough resources to provide adoption, foster care or even the basic necessities to such a large number of orphans.

And for children born with disabilities, the outlook is far grimmer. Even conditions corrected with routine medical procedures in America can render a child unadoptable and destined for an unthinkable existence in a cold institutional setting.

.

If you are looking for a way to help Chinese orphans...I think this would be a great way.

Dum, dum, dum dum....Time for the HOMESTUDY

One bonus to scheduling a homestudy this time of year?
EARLY PESACH CLEANING*.

This post was rolling around in my head, and then I read Karen's post about laundry (sorry, password protected)...and then my comment to her turned into this.

Until a few days ago, there was a huge gigantic enormous towering sizeable pile of things to be ironed/folded/mended in our bedroom. Clean clothes though. Hate ironing. I ended up with a huge pile after my last failed IVF (LAST SUMMER) and NEVER CLEANED IT UP. Never mind the (most likely) clinically depressed situation that I was in for, oh, four months or so. I was too busy obsessively reading adoption blogs researching adoption to fold and iron. I thought my husband owned two pairs of work pants, and that I had maybe four work outfits. I couldn't imagine what happened to all our clothes!

Amazing what a homestudy appointment will do for you. The pile is GONE. Two nights and one Sunday of ironing and reorganizing the walk-in closet, and we are FLUSH with clothing.

So proud of myself right now. And even more proud of Karen, who has many more challenges in her life right now than I have.

But I haven't been down to the basement lately, our unofficial laundry room. I avoid the basement at all costs. It's just darn ugly, full of everyone else's storage (all my family uses it for their storage, as I'm the one with room), it's the "overflow pantry" (and sometimes other things overflow there...like the sewage pump) and it irritates my asthma when it's damp. I wonder what's sitting down there?

Uh oh.

*Passover. Orthodox (and Conservative and some Reform) Jews rid their house of all leavened bread etc. before Passover, which usually entails a *lot* of cleaning, changing all of the kitchen dishes to the special Passover dishes, and so on. I'm sure I'll be b****ing complaining about it over the next six weeks.

Wait. Today's Rosh Chodesh (the beginning of the lunar month). Pesach is in SIX WEEKS? Deep breathing, deep breathing...let's get through the homestudy first...

This is a little different...

Wow. I read over 50 blogs written by people who have adopted from China, or are in the process of adoption, and have been reading most of them since last summer. But they're all pretty much living here, applying with an agency, going through the GREAT WAIT, and then travelling to China to pick up their precious baby.

Now, I've heard that there are some individuals who say, are foreigners living in China for a certain amount of time, who have found babies and have adopted them. The most famous family that I am aware of is Avraham and Rachel Schwartzbaum, who adopted their daughter Devora from China in 1972. They eventually became Orthodox Jews as a result of pursuing a conversion to Judaism for their daughter, and, later on, Avraham wrote a book about the adoption and raising Devora, called The Bamboo Cradle (I would put a link in here, but it doesn't appear to be in stock on the publisher's website or on Amazon).

Imagine my suprise today when I stumbled across this blog. Pam discovered a baby (with a severe birth defect) on her doorstep in China, back in 2003. She and her husband took the baby to the hospital, made sure she got medical care, and are in the process of adopting her. Such a beautiful story...please read her story yourself.

Fascinating.

They're in China right now!

Fling Poo has recently climbed up my list to be one of my all-time favorite blogs. This couple is in China right now, picking up their approximately two-year-old daughter, who is so, so cute. It looks like they're doing a wonderful job with transitioning her into their family, plus they're documenting everything so well!

First, check out their Metcha Day. When you've finished crying, read the update the next day, then what it's like to be the lone americans in a remote part of China and...just read the rest of the blog. Great stuff.
But make sure you don't miss this: How to cross the street. I thought crossing the street in Manhattan was bad.

Blogroll help

Hey, does anyone out there have a good solution for establishing a blogroll? I'm looking at Blogrolling, but just do not care enough to screw around, trying to get their template look more like my blog. Is there an easier tool out there?

I read a LOT of blogs, and would love to be able to link to them. But changing my template to include all of them is a nightmare. It would be great to import select Favorites or something. Or my Bloglines, which I don't want to make public.

OMG I think this is really happening

A bit overwhelmed right now. We got a packet from a home study agency in the mail today, probably the one we're going with (our agency is just a little too far for them to perform the study themselves, so we have to use someone local).

I always knew about the documents I needed, but today I got a better look at the list of required documents.

ALL FREAKIN 31* OF THEM.

Oh.My.

Good thing about this agency? You know how China requires 4 visits with the agency staff? Well, this agency actually only have 2 in-home visits, then you have to attend a 2 hour training session at their offices, and then you have the session with the "administrative staff" at the office when you dump your entire collection of the aforementioned 31 FREAKING DOCUMENTS on some poor person's desk, and review them with him or her. So that's their 4 meetings, only 2 of which are with your actual social worker.

Listen, I'm not a big fan of 90% of the social workers I've met (and to give you a clue...my mother in law has an MSW), so 2 social worker visits only is JUST FINE WITH ME.

Still can't believe this is happening. I'm just praying that all goes well with the homestudy.

* We're actually going to need more than 31, as an adult sibling is living with us right now. So we'll need documents for said sibling, such as abuse/police record clearances, physical, etc. So it really will be about 36. Sheesh.

Growth Industry

If you get Print Magazine, there's a two page article about the attempts by China to encourage the acceptance of girls. Look for the article titled "Growth Industry - Millions of Chinese girls are at risk. A public campaign comes to their aid", by Jude Steward. It include pictures of some billboards and a brochure used in the efforts to educate the public in China about the value of girls.

Unfortunately, the article is not online, and I don't want to violate copyright laws by scanning it in and hosting it online, but if you have a friend that's a graphic designer, they may have a copy!

Interesting that I even saw this - we only ordered ONE trial issue at work, and THIS is the issue that has this article. I think I gasped when I saw the entry in table of contents, but nobody noticed! I haven't broken the news to anyone at work yet, but since we're finally getting the process started, my boss will probably find out real soon.

I think I'm coming out of hibernation

Yeah, it's been a long while. I guess that there's just been a lot on my mind, and I haven't been able to organize it enough to be able to post. Otherwise, I end up with long posts that are hard to read.

I know I owe answers to two commenters. Hopefully, my answers will be forthcoming soon. The good thing is that I think we've settled on an agency. I'm not going to say who it is right now, in case something doesn't go well with the application process, but at least we've made some progress!

One of the big questions in my mind was whether my husband was truly, truly committed to doing this. This is common in the adoption world, from what I know. It's hard to tell what the hubby is really feeling sometimes, as he doesn't have my mood swings ;). Much easier to tell how I'm feeling!

But for my birthday, he had told me that he wanted to buy some of the adoption books on my Amazon wish list, but they were all pretty much backordered. So today, he surprised me with (among other things) a new book, called "China, The Beautiful CookBook". It's a great book that combines gorgeous pictures of China (now I can't wait to go!), and then sections devoted to a certain province of China, then a certain category of food (poultry, fish, meat, etc). I can't stand to look at some of the food pictures (complete with chicken heads...ick), and there are quite a few recipes that aren't kosher, but they are *quite* interesting, and there are many that I'm considering preparing. Thanks honey! Good choice! I get the message.

Can you please sign the application and send it in now?

And, just for fun:



That's right. The quiz couldn't figure out what level of Orthodoxy I am. Funny. I can't either.

Hat tip: Chayyei Sarah, via OrthoMom.

Just to show you I'm not completely ignoring this blog

Posts that are rambling about my head:

* Impressions from the APC conference
* Why I still haven't decided that China is our ultimate destination for adoption...but why I still want to.
* Why I don't want to adopt from Russian, Kazakhstan or Guatemala (never mind India, Ethiopia and other places). This sounds a lot like the second post. Oh yeah, and why we're not pursuing domestic adoption either.
* Trusting in G-d to change my fertility situation vs. adoption
* Reviews of some really great adoption books

Whatever. Sounds a little boring, but I'm hoping someone finds it valuable one day.

Let the Insanity Begin

Aaahhhhh!!!!!

I just spent close to 3 hours trying to compare China program costs from five agencies: Gladney, CCAI, CAWLI, WACAP & GWCA. I haven't even called USAA yet, a facilitator that I really want to speak to, and my head is already spinning.

There should be a central agency for the adoption agencies. Why in the world can't they all call their lovely "fees" by the same names? This is driving me insane. And if I call them and ask them to explain what "travel costs" or "adoption processing fees" are and start nitpicking with questions like "does that include food?" (I hope not - we're gonna have to bring all our own, as we keep kosher), or "does that include in-China travel and the flight to China, plus hotel plus food, or is that just the flight IN China, and the hotels but not the flight TO China or food and blah blah blah blah blah..." they're gonna hate me and think I can't afford it. Possibly. Plus I don't want to be the incredibly irritating "noodge".

Hm. I must be a little overwhelmed. You think?

I haven't even started comparing my list of questions for each agency. Do you have a doctor that travels with the group? Does he carry Valium or other sedatives? How many families typically travel in each group? Are you going to rip us off on the travel fees? Can we make my travel arrangments so that we don't have to travel on Shabbos (that would be useful!)? Are we the only Orthodox Jews that you've ever dealt with? Can you get the in province process down to 5 days so that we don't have to stay in a remote province in China over Shabbos*?

The agency that wins will answer the last question properly. I'm probably going to request that we get a referral from the SWI near Guangzhou, if that even works, as there is a Chabad there and possible hot kosher meals and a synagogue. I'm hoping we can get to a Chabad for Shabbos. Actually, since there's no eruv**, we'd have to stay at the Rabbi's house or something since we'll have a baby to deal with. Wow. That's freaky.

Hoo boy.

I'm sure they'll be more about this later...



* Shabbos is the Jewish day of rest. It starts Friday at sundown and ends Saturday night at about an hour after sundown. We don't do many types of work, cook, travel in cars, airplanes or the like, turn lights off or on, OPEN A HOTEL DOOR WITH AN ELECTORNIC KEY...you see how that can get complicated.

** Not in the mood of explaining this right now. Try googling it.

Really, really funny

Well, after seeing this on China Adoption News, I loved it, but I was going to leave it at that. But, heck, everyone else is posting about it, so...why not. Here you go:

Chinese BackStreet Boys

These kids are actually pretty good!

But can someone please tell me if the kid in the background is even alive?

Dead-on Personality Test

Pink Devora's Communication style:

You're the ultimate universal, holistic thinker! Yes, you're a visionary. Everything, including the smallest detail, needs to be synthesized into a framework that answers the question, "How." Before you begin any project or task, you need to see the "big picture." Not one step can be taken until you know how that one step fits into the whole.

Ideas and options are what you're always creating. "Process" is your middle name. Once something seems concrete, structured and complete, you have a way of coming up with a creative option that changes the whole thing and leads to a better building process.

Change, particularly in ideas, is never-ending for you. What you're enthusiastic about today may not be the focus of your energy in a week, a month or year. People that know you see a dynamic stream of consciousness which, given the right amount of time and people support, develops idealistic and artistic themes into living and creative realities. Whether they are software programs, pieces of art, strategies for corporations or new, holistic developments for organic gardening makes no difference.

There is no timeline or deadline for your accomplishments. They are never-ending because you will go back and transform them if they evolve into a different whole within you. That is why in school or at work you procrastinate until the last moment to finish a paper, an assignment for a project. If you do the work early, at a time it's too, you'll have to go back and change completely because you see it in a different contextual whole. So, why redo it?

******************************
I'm a visionary! Yay!

I really *do* have to think everything thru before I'll work on something. Even with the adoption process, I've already looked into *all* the details, down to the packing list for China. And in school, or at work, I do end up doing everything later than I should - because that way it gets done properly. Well, according to me, anyways!

(hat-tip to JewishSouthFlorida.com)

Ohhhhh...I was supposed to play hockey to get pregnant!

Hat-tip to Sarah Gilbert of Blogging Baby

An entire team of female hockey players get pregnant. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Geez, you'd think that the years I spent in Canada playing hockey would have helped. I GUESS NOT.

The best adoption videos I've seen

You have got to love Karen's and Scott's videos. Honest and breathtaking. They make me both laugh and cry. I'm glad to see that their Gwen is feeling much better. I pray that she recovers completely very soon.

I also love Team Shapiro. I've watched this video (all 15 minutes of it!) at least three times. It was one of the things I showed my mother when I finally broke the news to her recently.

(In general, Red Thread Stories, which produced Team Shapiro's video does a really nice job with adoption videos - I hope I can afford them after shelling out 15k or more for this process! Check out their website for more great videos)