Ok, that was interesting

What I find very interesting, is that from all the agencies in the U.S. that we could have chosen, we chose one of the few that is actually in a very Jewish neighborhood (Coolidge Corner in Brookline, MA) with several kosher restaurants, a couple of synagogues and places for us to stay comfortably nearby. We met with our agency for the first time this past weekend, and really enjoyed our visit. I think that other than the multitude of snow, Brookline would be on my top 10 places to live in the U.S. I didn't realize that it was quite a busy suburb. It had a fun vibe...even without all the alcohol. Everywhere we went, people were quite obviously passionate about their liquor, which was a little funny once we started noticing it. We also met a nice cross-section of religious Jews who were very interesting. I think we'll be going back, if I can stand the 4+ hour drive again. In addition to it being a popular Jewish and Israeli neighborhood, there were also a lot of Asians, and I saw several Asian-Jewish couples. Basically, we felt comfortable, which was nice.

So the hubs and I were attending a Chinese Culture workshop at our agency on Sunday. Another odd thing? It was on Sunday. They've been hosting this workshop for several years I believe, and it's always on a Saturday. This year, it was on a Sunday. Basically, it was the first event we could ever consider attending, so we made sure to go. I was actually hoping to meet a lot of people in the process, but there were only 4 couples in total there. Oh well. I probably should have networked more in advance to get people to attend.

During the lunch break, we ran out to a local kosher restaurant to pick up some lunch. As soon as we walked in, I looked down and spotted Chinese hair on a little girl. I looked up, and saw her Caucasian parents. I immediately caught their eye, and said: "Hi! We've just come from our adoption agency around the corner and are also adopting from China!"

Of course, they immediately mentioned that they had used the same agency, and we talked a bit. I really didn't have that much time to talk; we basically had to get take-out and run. I also didn't want to pressure them to talk to us, when they were there to eat after all. But the mom (who was adorable by the way) looked a little familiar, so if I see her pop up in my "People You Might Know" Facebook screen, I think I will have the guts to send her a friend request.

By the way, Dear Readers (all 10 of you ;)), if you would like to connect on FaceBook, and we've had some sort of commenting relationship, please email me. I've made friends with some nice people on FB and wouldn't mind connecting with a few more. I do see some friend suggestions from time to time for people that I don't know that well, and don't walk to look stalker-ish. I can't say that I'm all that fascinating, but you'll get to know me a little better!

So, we had a really nice weekend in a lovely town, learned enough about Chinese culture to see that we had a lot to learn and should start Mandarin classes now, and I finally broke the ice and spoke to other adoptive parents out of the blue. It was a pretty good weekend.

Recent news about Jews in China...and Chinese Jews in Israel

First, a nice video by Jewish Fan about Chinese of Jewish extraction in China:



And this is a cool video about a Chinese woman of Jewish descent who moved to Israel, converted to Judaism, and then married an American in a Sephardic-style wedding ceremony. This was definitely a very multi-cultural wedding and is so beautiful.



Some translation:
* 5 months after she converted to Judaism, the woman now known as Shoshana Rivkah (formerly Chiang Li, if I am spelling that correctly), is marrying Ami Emanuel, an American Jew.
* The speaker at 1:01, Michael Freund, the founder of Shavei Israel is saying that there are 700-1000 Jews in China that identify themselves as Jewish, and at least a couple hundred of them are interested in learning more about Judaism and the State of Israel. Over the last few years, they have brought several Chinese Jews to Israel, and they are learning about Judaism in order to convert.
* At around 1:50, you see a lovely young lady named Chiang Jin (again, not sure how to spell this), who, I have so say speaks an excellent Hebrew! Really amazing! Her father is next to her. They moved to Israel and converted about 5 years ago, currently living in Jerusalem. She talks about how her grandfather always spoke about being Jewish since she was a child, and on the Sabbath they would like candles, drink wine, and read the Bible. That's all they knew.
(Note: I'm a little wary of the groom's comment at the end. Ummmm....)

Of course, I managed to find many other videos about China and the Jews. Must save some of this for later. But I really enjoyed this video where a JTA reporter interviewed Chinese in China about what they think/know about Jews. I finally got confirmation that Jews are indeed called "Yoh Tai Ren" in Chinese, which may mean "big noses". Maybe. Gotta look that up in The Bamboo Cradle again.



This is a nice video about how the non-Chinese Jewish community is growing in Shanghai:


As I've mentioned before, my brother-in-law's mother, aunts and uncle(s) were all born in Shanghai during and immediately after WWII, and have fond memories of their treatment by the Chinese. We actually included some details about the history of the Chinese and the Jews in our home study, I think. I was a little worried that my Israeli citizenship could be an issue, but as y'all know, we've been through review with no questions! Yay!

My in-laws did a Jewish cultural tour of China in 2007 and I believe they met with the family in Kaifeng that were featured in the first video. They brought back a knitted yarmulke and a paper cutting of a menora from the family. It's nice to see that at least some of the culture has endured throughout several hundred years.

Oh, and not to forget, this is the article that inspired this post in the first place:
From Kaifeng to Kibbutz: Chinese Descendants of Jews Come Home

"For the first time, a group of seven descendants of the Jewish community of Kaifeng, China has moved to Israel.The new arrivals, who were brought here by the Shavei Israel organization, arrived at Ben-Gurion airport late Tuesday night.

The city of their birth, Kaifeng, sits on the banks of the Yellow River and was home to a flourishing Jewish community for more than a millennium.

"I am very excited to be here in the Holy Land," said Yaakov Wang, one of the new immigrants. "This is something that my ancestors dreamed about for generations, and now thank G-d I have finally made it."

Wang said that he eventually hopes to become a rabbi, so that one day he can help other Kaifeng Jewish descendants to learn more about their heritage."

Read the rest of the article here.


P.S. Partial hat-tip to Robert Avrech of Seraphic Secret. Make sure to check out his blog post that includes details about about doing his morning prayers (that require a whole odd-looking uniform of prayer shawl and phylacteries) on the Great Wall of China. I was laughing pretty hard at the complete freak-out by his "guide". Hm. I wonder if my husband should try to do the same, or just stick to praying on the tour bus. I think he just may be stuck without a minyan during most of our time in China.

Second Anniversary

Today, it's officoally two years since our Log In Date to China. Here's to hoping for only one more year! Heh. That would have depressed me a year or two ago.

In other news, it's been 14 years since my dear husband proposed to me. He's fabulous.

I still don't have confirmation that our dossier has been reviewed. Off to email the agency!

Whew, potential disaster avoided

Yep, it's that time that comes around every 15 months! Time to renew fingerprints and the I171H. We're sending in the letter to ask for renewal (and, no, this is NOT the free renewal!).

Only one obstacle - I couldn't find the form we received after our last renewal. Ulp. After half an hour of near-frantic looking, I finally found it. Whew. For some reason, I hadn't scanned it into my computer like all our other documents. Not good! I'll have to make sure to scan in the new renewed paper once we receive it...

Now that I've located the missing document, I can go back to watching a 20/20 special from 2004 about domestic adoption. It will probably make me ill. So far, a pregnant birth mother has rejected 3 couples out of 5, but the third couple *literally* received a 2 year old instead, on the spot! Whoah.

Also, I have heard rumors that the CCAA has reviewed dossiers up to 06/30/07, which would mean we had been reviewed, but I don't have confirmation. Hope so.

I'm making the hubby watch this for me. This should lead to some interesting conversations.

Almost time to freak out somewhat

While reviewing Pearl S. Buck International's update newsletter today (not my agency, but I'm on many agency's email lists), I saw that the last date that they had for dossiers that were reviewed in China is April 20, 2007. Our LID is in June 2007.

I knew in the back of my mind that it was possibly time to be a little worried, but now it's sunk in. They've reviewed up to April, so they'll be up to reviewing our dossier within two months...probably around our 2 year LID anniversary. My secret fear is that they'll find something that they don't like and reject us, G-d forbid. I know, I know, it's pretty rare, but we're not perfect on paper. What if they have some sort of issue with us? Trying not to bite my fingernails now...

Deep breath.

Anyways, many of you are probably wondering why we seem to just be sitting around, waiting for a 3-4 year referral wait. We're most definitely not getting any younger! The truth is, we have been looking into other programs. A lot of the international programs are closed right now, or closed right after we were considering them (so glad I didn't do all the paperwork and then get closed out of Vietnam), or we've actually aged out of them already (so much for Colombia), or I don't trust the program. Some are also quite expensive. I absolutely refuse to work with any program that has had allegations about baby thefts, or seems to require bribery or dealing with corruption. Of course, the China program is not completely clean in that regard - there have been reports of baby trafficking - but we are still most comfortable with that program. We are still monitoring various international programs to see whether we would want to adopt from a different country, but haven't found a particular preference at this time.

Meanwhile, we've had a few domestic adoption possibilities crop up, all of them roller coasters. For example, my husband and I went away for the weekend last July 4th. There was a kosher program at a hotel. We couldn't go away for a significant amount of time (my husband doesn't get a lot of vacation days, as he needs to use them for Jewish holidays), so we try to take advantage of legal holidays and go away for long weekends.

We made a mistake. Don't get me wrong - the hotel was lovely, and the food was fantastic. (We had to skip meals so we wouldn't gain ten pounds.) But in the past, we had usually gone to Sabbath programs when they were holding a program for singles, and some couples would come along as well on the side, taking advantage of having a weekend off at a nice hotel with good food.

This was the first time that we went to a program that was not tied in with a singles program. In other words, it was for families. Families. With children. Lots and lots of adorable children and happy parents.

It was torture. We were one of maybe 8 couples there, but there had to be 25-30 families, with anywhere from 2 to 10 children. It was so hard to watch the kids running around, and parents (and grandparents - there were extended families there) spending time with their children. There were strollers around our table with cute babies in them, and toddlers coming over to gaze into my face (I'm a friggin' baby magnet). By the end of the Sabbath, the smile was just pasted on my face. Every time a little girl walked by, I would gaze at her longingly. My husband understood, but what could he do? Not much.

We left early on Sunday; I was pretty desperate to get out of there. We were stopping by at a special furniture clearance sale on the way home, then we were going to go visit my sister and new niece (did I mention that all my sisters had babies last year? Oh yes they did!), and then go to a wedding in a city about 2 hours away from our house. Sunday was going to be a very busy day.

We wandered through the furniture store. I was eyeing a wall unit that we desperately needed. There happened to be a baby clothes vendor there as well, so I bought my newest niece a beautiful (pink!) stretchie and hat. We had reached the end of the store and were looking at the children's furniture. I figured if I could find a really good deal on something that looked like little girl's furniture but could pass as guest room furniture, that I would buy it. My husband wandered off to check our voice mail messages on our home phone. He came rushing back and handed me the phone: "listen to this message, and see if you can figure out who it is." I listened to it carefully (it was a little garbled). The voice and name sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place it, even though we managed to get the phone number.

A couple of minutes later, it hit me. It was a woman who we had been in contact with several months earlier about a sibling pair that had been available for adoption. It hadn't worked out; another couple had been given first "dibs" and we had been told that they had taken the children. I called the woman back, and she told me that, actually, only one of the children had been adopted. The other sibling, a girl, was still with a foster family, but they could no longer care for her. This would be a guaranteed adoption, no changing of the mind. DCFS would not allow the foster mother to keep her, and the biological parents' rights had been terminated.

I couldn't breathe. The whole weekend had been all about wanting a little girl, and here we were being handed a daughter on a silver platter! I was literally standing next to a little girl's bedroom set and was tempted to buy it on the spot. We drove back home, planning to meet with the woman in a couple of hours. My head was whirling with plans and questions. How to handle work, what we would need to get for her. I need toys! Craft supplies! I might need to buy her clothes (yummy little dresses!) and sparkly shoes! Where would we send her to school next year? Wait, is she in day camp? OMG, how are we going to handle this? I'm a planner and project manager...believe me, I was going crazy with the possibilities.

We met with the woman involved...and then the details started coming out. There was a medical issue (ah hah - that's why she hadn't been adopted!). Then the way she wanted to handle the placement started ringing alarm bells in my head. I've read about attachment, and I've been a foster parents whose foster children's placements were completely mishandled. She wanted an quick decision; we asked for more time. The situation had been handled by a temporary placement with another family, but we still visited so we could meet her. And then we went home.

Even with all of the potential negatives and the possibility of a debilitating disease, I (and my husband, who was completely on-board) was ready to do it. It seemed to be the answer to our prayers. We had literally been in pain all weekend, desperately wanting our little girl, and, 24 hours later, here was a daughter, all gift wrapped! The gift wrapping was a little wrinkled and torn, but the gift was definitely still very shiny.

I couldn't go to the wedding. I had to talk to somebody about the situation and our decision. We did go visit my sister, and we sat and talked about it. She had freaked out when she heard what I needed to discuss, so her older kids knew that something was going on, and were tremendously excited. Her kids want us to have children so badly and were going out of their minds with joy. It felt like such an answer to our prayers. I started making final plans.

And, then, it all fizzled. When I called the next day, I got more details about the situation, but was told that we could still continue. I was still ok with the situation. But then every time we called her again, the story changed a little more each time. A little over a week later, we were basically told that another couple had been chosen instead.

I wasn't quite devastated, but was quite disappointed. And, quite frankly, I think that the reason that we were not chosen is because we are not from this particular woman's community. We're both Orthodox Jews, but have varying customs and habits that make us very different, and we would not be their first choice for raising a child from their community. So if she gives us the opportunity to adopt, it will be because a preferred member of her community doesn't want the child. We will not be accepting any more proposals from her, and frankly, feel that we were taken advantage of.

There have been other opportunities as well, but none of them have worked out either. So we continue to wait, while being open to possibilities. And hope that the dossier passes through review with flying colors.

Happy Chanuka!

In celebration of Chanuka, I present a picture I took of my husband lighting the menora last year.

I desperately want to learn how to a) take better pictures and b) how to use PhotoShop. I probably know about 1% of what PhotoShop can do, and am very jealous of people who know how to use even 20% more than I know. I am trying to learn from people such as Pioneer Woman (warning: addictive website. It's like crack, but for people who like horses). I've downloaded her Action sets (Set 1 and Set 2), and tried a few of them on this photograph. Still not "quite there", but it's an improvement.

This is the SOOC (straight-out-of-the-camera) shot:



This is the same picture with PW's Dim The Lights action. Pretty dramatic, but maybe a little too much.



Fresh and Colorful action:



Define and Sharpen action. Good detail.



Define and Sharpen plus Quick Edge Burn. Helps get rid of the distraction of the white window frame.



I guess the last one is the best one. I *did* upload the image to Kodak*Gallery last year, did a little bit of editing, and added a dark border. I then printed it on glossy paper in an 8x10 and put it in a matte black frame. Looks pretty good...but I feel it can look better. What do you think?

Anyways, Happy Chanuka everyone!

Chirp...chirp

Yeah, sorry for the cricket chirping. There's just not that much to say right now. But I felt like posting *something*.

So here we go.

We've been waiting in China for, um (wait, need to use my toes to add this up), nearly 16 months now.

I could add one of those tickers (with ladybugs! yes!) at the top of my blog, but that would not accomplish anything.

Ok, that's all I have to stay. I'm still around, living vicariously thru other blogs, working my butt off at work and at college, expanding my Face*Book presence, and mourning the loss of a couple of blogs that I read frequently.

See you around sometime.

Fashion Plate

This post (at least the beginning of it), is one that I think Mrs. Figby (now Halcyon Mama) would enjoy.

I've been trying to lose weight over the last couple of years, and have been doing so slowly, which works well for me. My scale is broken, but I've probably lost about 10 pounds since the spring. I literally had just enough work outfits to get me through one work-week during the winter last year, and didn't have a much broader selection during the spring and summer. So when I managed to get my husband and I to Sym's last March, I picked up another winter suit jacket (Anne Klein! At least 50% off!) that I could wear with my wear-three-times-a-week straight black skirt, and put it away for the cold weather in the upcoming fall and winter.

I wore the jacket for the first time yesterday. It's already a little too big and doesn't look right. I should have left the tags on and just sold it on E*B*ay.

This morning the weather report made it sound like it would be a really cold day, and I'm standing in my closet, ransacking it, looking for something not-too-warm and not-too cool. Mentally, I am not ready for sweaters. It's too early! It's not even Sukkos yet! I move clothing items around, muttering "too big, too big, too hot, too cold...". I finally grab a jacket that I've literally worn for about 10 years off and on, depending on my size, and match it with the ever-present straight black skirt. Exciting stuff, I tell you. This jacket is also a little too big for me, but looks o.k. with the appropriate, ahem, foundation garment.

It's getting late at this point, so I rummage through my drawer for my other winter staple, black opaque tights (very slimming with the aforementioned "straight black skirt"). I only find a pair of tights at the back of the drawer, since I haven't restocked for the fall yet.

I throw everything together and make it to work on time, even with a Star*Bucks stop. No adopted Chinese babies there this time, unfortunately. (This town has at least 7 adopted Chinese babies living there, and I see them with their Mamas at SB sometimes, but have yet decided to actually say anything to them. It does add a little sparkle to my morning when they are there!)

I sit down at my desk in my sunny office, and realize what my very dark bedroom lighting did *not* reveal.

You know how women write to Dear Abby or Miss Manners or whomever, asking if they can wear navy blue with black, or brown with black? I've done both at various times, but usually just brown with black.

Today, I was doing it all. Brown jacket. Black skirt. NAVY BLUE TIGHTS. Black shoes.

Gah.


----------------------------
In other news, I have finally registered for college. Just ordered one course's textbooks! Woohoo!

In order to finish my Bachelor's degree, I have to take about 10 courses, which will take about eighteen to twenty-four months at the pace I can handle. I'm taking two interesting courses this semester (Human Nutrition, to satisfy a Science course requirement, and Cultural Issues in International Business, which I hope is as interesting as I think it should be), but should be able to take Digital Design II, i.e. Advanced PhotoShop CS3 or CS4, in the Spring or Summer semester. As you can see in my "Bloggin' Photogs" blog category, I am following several bloggers who post PhotoShop (and photography) tips all the time, but I never have the time to try their techniques. This course will finally make me do it. Can't wait! Alas, my degree program will not fit a photography course. I'll have to try another online course during one of my semester breaks.

I really wanted to take the "Modern China" course to satisfy the requirement for world history, but one of my transfer credits took care of that, and I don't have room in my degree plan for an elective course that isn't tied to my business degree. Oh well.

Does anyone out there have an online MBA program that they can recommend, that does *not* cost an arm-and-a-leg? I need to start checking common MBA pre-requisites.

And so my life continues, whilst awaiting adoption opportunities.

Happy New Year

I wish everyone a Happy New Year. A year of peace, gratitude, health and wealth.

Review of "The Bamboo Cradle"

The Bamboo Cradle: A Jewish Father's Story by Avraham Schwartzbaum

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is a non-fiction book, not a novel, about a American couple who went to Taiwan in the early 70s on a Fulbright scholarship, and ended up leaving with a baby girl that the father, Avraham Schwartzbaum found abandoned in a train station. This couple may have been one of the first couples to adopt from China. There certainly were no established procedures for foreign adoption from China, so the Schwartzbaum couple had to fight tooth-and-nail with both the Chinese and U.S. bureaucracies to take their baby girl home with them.


The Bamboo Cradle continues the adoption story along with the Schwartzbaums's decision to become Orthodox Jews due to their interest in converting their daughter to Judaism, and details about Devora growing up in the Orthodox community in communities in the U.S. and in Israel. They don't gloss over the challenges, racism and difficulties. You read about both their positive experiences along with the negative, and the difficult decisions that they had to make along the way.


What's nice about this book is that the story continues until Devora is a teenager, and doesn't end when they come home from China or soon afterwards like most books do.


I have read this book repeatedly over the last 20 years, each time with a different perspective. I read this book as a fascinated teenager, as Devora is my age and we attended the same school for a year, so I actually knew who she was, but had no idea how a Chinese girl ended up in a school in Israel (in the mid 80s, there were very few Asians in Israel at all, so she definitely was noticeable). I then read it as an adult who understood more of the story line and issues than a teenager did. After marrying, I read it as an infertile woman, struggling to conceive. Now I read it as a potential adoptive parent who is concerned about her decision to adopt a child from a different race, and integrating the child in the Orthodox Jewish community. Obviously, I find this book very, very relevant.


An Amazon reviewer complained that they didn't know what happened next, and doubted that it had a happy ending. I can tell you that the book *does* have a happy ending. Devora occasionally gives speeches about her childhood and her current life, and I've made contact with her with the hope that she can later advise me and serve as a role model for my daughter(s) (or sons). She married an Orthodox Jewish man (another famous Jewish writer, Ruchoma Shain, made her "shidduch", match), has several gorgeous children, and currently lives in the U.S. She seems well integrated in her community, and pretty well-adjusted.


As you may be able to guess from the fact that they were in Taiwan on a Fulbright scholarship, the Schwartzbaum couple are very, very well educated. Avraham is a sociologist, and his wife, Barbara, is an accomplished linguist. The book is therefore exceptionally well-written and absolutely fascinating. Avraham pulls you into their story from the very first paragraph, and doesn't let you go until the end. There is also a chapter written by Barbara that explains her perspective. The end of the book includes excerpts from Devora's diaries, which I really enjoyed as a teenager! She and I had very similar feelings and writing styles.


I cannot recommend this book highly enough. My copy is beginning to fall apart, and other people always want to borrow it after I rave about it, so I need to find two hard cover copies for my personal library.


View all my reviews.

Sigh

(Warning, the vent mode is on)

Earlier this month, I explained to my family that yet another country that we were thinking of adopting from had closed, and finally told them that they should spread the word that they have a family member who is looking to adopt. Since I have family members in 3 countries, who knows what could happen?

I never wanted to do that. I don't want to be a "nebach case" (i.e. pity case). I don't want my relatives talking to people and saying "Hey. I have a sister who doesn't have any kids and who's desperate to adopt. Know anyone?" One reason that we were not that interested in domestic adoption is that I do not want to be the nebach case that is begging birth parents to give me a baby. I don't want to open a Go*ogle Ad*words account that says "Pregnant? Can't keep your baby? Desperate, beautiful, Harvard educated rich white couple with 10 bedroom home in the best school district in the whole country wants to adopt!". I work in advertising, and find it a little demeaning to have to advertise myself. I don't want to be the subject of my own marketing campaign, with my name and picture spread across the Internet. The Jewish community is also pretty small, and I don't want all kinds of people who know us to see us advertised this say. I also can't handle the possibility of a birth mother changing her mind after giving birth. I just don't think I can handle any more disappointment.

We've spoken to a few domestic agencies, and were basically told that our chances were low because we were religous (and we're not even "super Orthodox").

Anyone not involved in adoption thinks that it's so simple.

"Why don't you adopt from Russia? There must be so many Jewish adoption agencies in Russia with loads of babies!". Yeah...no.

We've gotten some phone numbers from people. "Call this person. He's helped people find babies. Make sure you sound sincere." My husband and I have been married for 12 years. How could we not sound sincere? When we do speak to this person, we hear about a couple of possibilities, but they require either money (or promises thereof), or really good connections with a particular group of people, and again, we have to sound sincere (they mean sound desperate). I am NOT interested in either arrangement.

"Call this person. She deals with child abuse cases and has a baby available for adoption right now." We call the woman. She says that the situation is still in process of getting resolved, and we should keep on calling her. I call her 3 times in 4 days, as per her request. On the 3rd call, I get the "don't call me, I'll call you". I get the vibe that she prefers to deal with a certain sub-sect of the Jewish community, and we're not part of that sub-sect, so we're out.

"This person can help you adopt from this country. This country really doesn't have legal adoptions, but he can help you with that." Excuse me? NO WAY. NO WAY IN HELL.

I feel like there's a secret password that I don't know. Why should I have to be either well-off or well-connected (or both)? Why all the secrecy? HOW COULD I NOT BE SINCERE? Sheesh.

We've been married for 12+ years. We have a big house that is time consuming and a bit expensive to maintain, live in a community that specifically has good schools (I think; I might still disagree with their educational tactics), and I've been at my job for over 10 years because I know that it can be a Mommy-friendly job. We both have relatives nearby who can be backup baby sitters.

The truth is though, that if we hadn't been in limbo all this time and knew that we weren't going to be starting a family that quickly, I'd probably be making more money in a different job (with potentially less stress; people regularly tell me that my job is insane, and my company is pretty much nuts), and we'd rather be living somewhere that has a lower cost of living, and somewhere that possibly has a smaller Jewish community so that we could make more of a contribution to the community. We'd also like a more diverse community. When you live in a very large Jewish community, it's pretty segregated. In smaller communities, you're forced to get along with everyone, even if they're a little different. And amazingly enough, every time we check out a smaller Jewish community, we find other couples who've adopted internationally, including from China.

But we've held onto what we have and where we live over the past 12 years, assuming that any time now, we'd get pregnant or be able to adopt. Basically, our life has been in limbo for quite a while, and I feel like this could go on indefinitely.

I also feel like that our life never really started, or really that we've never grown up. We got married, got into the going-to-work groove, watched everyone else grow their families, but just stayed the same. Not that I'm complaining, but we don't even look all that much older! I may be a better equipped potential parent now, what with all the exposure I've had to the world at large (we've travelled a little more than most religious Jewish couples our age, have met many different types of people and are a little more open-minded), and have learned more about parenting by watching so many other people do it, but sometimes I wonder whether it will ever happen.

In 30 days, we will have been logged in the China system for one year.

Nothing exciting...

Yes, I'm still around. According to my original timeline, I would have been home with my baby today. Instead, my husband and I are getting up incredibly early, as we have to get to a Department of Homeland Security office by 8:00 am tomorrow morning to renew our fingerprints and I-600-A. Fun times! I am already beyond busy with work and the upcoming Pesach (Passover) holiday, so the timing really isn't all that great, but we decided to just get it over with. I really should get some sleep sometime soon.

So, I'll be cooking and baking away over the next few days to prepare for the holiday. Interested in hearing more? Check out my new post on my cooking blog.

Oh, and one more update. We're up to 3 pregnant sisters, all due between June and October this year. I think one of them conceived in my house. At least someone is getting pregnant in this house! I'm praying daily for my 4th sister. I think I've dealt with all the infertility angst that this family needs. Enough!

Maybe I should have the 4th sister sleep over at my house for the holiday ;).

For those of you that celebrate Pesach, have a wonderful holiday.

5 month LIDversary

Yawn.

Have to start figuring out how to renew fingerprints etc. Sigh.

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to...maybe

Wow.

I am so composed right now that I am shocking myself.

I have a post that I've been keeping in drafts for a while, that is about the following topic. It's a little raw emotion-wise, and very personal. I wanted to think about it for a while before deciding to share it with the world.

But meanwhile, I have to say this.

One of my sisters just called me and told me she was pregnant. AND I'M NOT CRYING AND RAILING AT THE UNIVERSE.

That's what I usually do. In the bathroom.

And I'm not.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still emotional, but not omg-im-freaking-out emotional.

Maybe I'll have a breakdown later, when I'm at home.

We'll see.

Oh, and she confirmed that another sister is pregnant as well.

Whoot!

Oh, and it's my birthday. Great birthday present, no?

* BLI AYIN HARA BLI AYIN HARA BLI AYIN HARA - i.e. without the evil eye (Hebrew). I'm not jealous, and don't want to be "casting an evil eye" or whatnot. But I'm entitled to my feelings and need to talk about this somewhere. My mother doesn't even know this yet. And I can't talk to her about this, because she starts crying, and I can't handle that.

Time for some distractions

Okay, so I've got about two years to wait. What to do in the meantime?

I missed the deadline to complete my application to the college I wanted to attend (but because an old college did not send my transcript on time, not entirely my fault). So, I'm doing something else I've been wanting to do for a while: I've signed up for Amber Ludlow's photography class (I think there are a couple of spaces left - come join me!), as I would love to know what to do with the manual settings on my new camera. Plus I've always loved photography and have been told that I take good pictures, but my pictures are nowhere near the quality of Shelba's or grrlTravel's, and I'm very jealous.

I also spend time lusting after dreamily gazing at other people's kitchens online. I have got one terrible kitchen, and it just is very depressing to spend a lot of time there. I can't afford to replace it right now. Believe me, it needs to be completely replaced. No getting away with "refacing" and getting new countertops. Uh uh. It needs to be gutted to the studs, and the layout needs to change. I've got one of those houses where the previous owners were do-it-yourselfers who did NOT know how to do things properly. I've cleaned up after most of their jobs (replaced the bathrooms for one thing), but to do the kitchen properly I'm going to need a LOT of money. We have an adoption to pay for first though, so it will have to wait. (sob)

In the interim, I've discovered new kitchens to drool upon enjoy. I'm hoping to find some options I like so I can at least come up with an idea of what I want. Epicurious, one of my favorite websites, has a new section where they film celebrities in their kitchens. Check them out!

I was first lured in by a link to Isaac Mizrahi's kitchen. I've always found him entertaining, and he has such fresh design ideas that I thought it would be interesting. His kitchen is not actually that eye popping, but he's very funny and has great appliances (I'm not going to be able to afford any of them). Check out Isaac Mizrahi's kitchen.

After wiping off my keyboard (that ice cream looked good!), I went to the homepage and saw that there were two other kitchen tours.

I never heard of Colin Cowie until I got cable and saw commercials about him on WE or LifeTime or some other woman oriented channel. Apparently he's some sort of amazing party planner? He must be big in England or something. I love to have people over and frequently have many family members at my house, especially for the holidays, so I thought his kitchen would be interesting. But I have to say, looking at his kitchen will make you gasp, then cackle maniacally, because you know you will never be that insane. I will only mention one thing to you: 6 drawers of different sized ice cubes. No, I am not kidding. I was laughing so hard that I had to pause the video and start a blog post. Please go watch it.

I'm sure they'll be adding more celebrity video tours, but there was only one more, so I went to that one as well. Besides, the word "healthy" caught my eye. I've really been trying to improve my eating habits and diet, and am always interested in resources that will help me.

Gabrielle Reece (why is she a celebrity? Is she a tennis player or something?) was the only person who actually showed the contents of her fridge. I liked her immediately when she said "if I'm going to have sugar, I'd rather it be chocolate". A woman after my own heart! The rest of the video wasn't that fabulous, and really did not show much more than her fridge, but her dining room table is really cool, and I love her hand-made dishes. See Gabrielle's kitchen.

Now, I must go back to what I supposed to be doing...making my menus and shopping list for yet another "3 day Yom Tov", i.e. two days of a Jewish holiday followed or preceded by the Sabbath.

I know most of you are, like, "What? The High Holy Days were over yesterday". Not true! The wonderful holiday of Sukkos/Sukkot is upon us this Wednesday night. This is a joyful holiday (we're done with the fasting for a few months at least), where in the time the Temple was built we would make a pilgrimage to the Temple to celebrate the harvest. We can't do that any more (it's still the most popular holiday to visit Israel though), but we still have special prayers and remember the protection G-d gave us during our exodus from Egypt. One of the most visible mitzvas that we do over the holiday is to dwell in sukkot, temporary booths.

You got that right. Now that it's officially fall, we move out of our house into a temporary structure that my husband and father-in-law are building on our deck...and it doesn't even have a roof. Unless you consider branches or bamboo mats a roof. For 8-9 days, we eat in the sukkah and spend most of our time there. My husband even sleeps out there. I stay inside where it's warm, and there are no cats.

So...I who enjoy cooking must dream up menus for 6-7 festive meals. It's actually harder when we have fewer guests, as I hate serving leftovers and have a hard time cooking for just two. Plus, as mentioned before, I'm trying to eat more healthfully, so it's a bit of a challenge to not splurge on some fabulous traditional foods. And they're all going to be meat meals, as my current kitchen just does not allow me to do large dairy meals gracefully. Have I mentioned that I need a new kitchen?

I must go back to my menus now, as I have to get at least some advance cooking done today.


P.S.
There's a whole lot more to the holiday; I've just given you a very small taste. More information about Sukkot can be found on Aish (they even has an Asian style holiday menu), Wikipedia, and the OU's website.

P.P.S.
I was inspired to start a cooking blog, where I will probably post as infrequently as I post here. But I eventually hope to be able to feature dramatically shot pictures of my food (courtesy of my photography class. heh.). Come visit me at PinkDevoraCooks.

Happy New Year!

My best wishes to everyone for Peace, Prosperity, Blessings and Health.

May you be inscribed in the Book of Life.

Now THAT'S a dossier picture

As seen in the August 20th edition of Crain's NY Business:

Gotham gigs

Brooklyn shutterbug

HOOKED ON BROOKLYN Kathryn Kirk didn't expect to stay long when she became staff photographer for Brooklyn Borough President Howard Golden in 1989. "I was thinking two years, max," she says. She photographed Jackie Kennedy Onassis on one of her first assignments. "Every time I go out, I meet someone intriguing." Her salary was $51,494 last year.

DARKROOM DELIVERANCE Until Marty Markowitz took office in 2002, Ms. Kirk developed her photos in a darkroom at Borough Hall. "It was slower but one of the more relaxing parts of the job," she says. "Now, everyone wants everything right away."

SPOTLIGHT MOMENT When Bill Clinton visited Borough Hall in 1992, "he walked across the room ... and introduced himself," Ms. Kirk says. "[At our next encounter], I said, `We've met before,' and he said, `I remember.' " He then declared, "I want my picture with the photographer lady." The single mom included that photo with her adoption applications and now raises Elena, 8, and Paloma, 2.

Of course, I'm not sure Bill Clinton is the person I would want in my dossier photo...but he is a former President...Hm.

Oh, and our dossier is now officially logged in for two entire months.

Yawn.

Backordered

I have a friend who went through several years of infertility (complete with several mid-term miscarriages). When stupid ignorant nosy people would ask her bluntly how many children she had, one of her responses was "they're on back order".

I never had the guts to do that, and, quite frankly, the question would take me by surprise half the time and I would just be stammering and turning red. (Over the past few years I've learned to anticipate these questions, except for one memorable episode a couple of years ago when I was registering for college.)

But now, considering the tremendous backlog of dossiers in China, I think that "my children are onbackorder" is completely legitimate.

What do you think?

Thinking about airline miles

My husband and I have never gotten credit cards with airline miles. We've always used cards that give us cash rebates of 1%-5%. Our favorite card for a while was Discover Card, but now we're loving our Chase Rewards cards (5% back on gas purchases!). Courtesy of our recent trips to Israel, we each have several thousand air miles with British Airways and Continental, respectively.

The question is, considering the long wait for a referral, what's the best way to go about collecting miles? And on which airline, or group of airlines, should we choose to do so? We're going to want to choose an airline with a direct flight from Newark, JFK, or LGA. I absolutely, positively will do anything I can (short of spending over $3000) to travel business class. Is it easier to purchase economy tickets and use miles for a free upgrade? I think Johnny did that but his blog is gone. Yoohoo...Johnny...any input? You always had the best advice!

I would appreciate anyone's input. I've never paid yearly fees for a credit card in the past, but may consider doing so for these purposes. I can also beg-bribe-plead with my boss to let me use his AMEX Gold Card miles, if possible. I have a corporate credit card on his account, so I should be able to access them, assuming that he has enough miles on the account at that point.

And a LID too!

This was totally unexpected, as I had decided it was going to take a very long time until we got our LID. The fact that I was away for a while, then came back to work and am trying desperately to catch up, probably distracted me.

So yes, we've got a LID.

Are you ready?

Really?

Changed your mind yet?

Ok, ok.

Drumroll please!


JUNE 29TH, 2007


Let the countdown begin! 3 weeks down already!

(Let's just hope that it isn't 3 years before referral)