Tuesday, November 13, 2007

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to...maybe


I am so composed right now that I am shocking myself.

I have a post that I've been keeping in drafts for a while, that is about the following topic. It's a little raw emotion-wise, and very personal. I wanted to think about it for a while before deciding to share it with the world.

But meanwhile, I have to say this.

One of my sisters just called me and told me she was pregnant. AND I'M NOT CRYING AND RAILING AT THE UNIVERSE.

That's what I usually do. In the bathroom.

And I'm not.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still emotional, but not omg-im-freaking-out emotional.

Maybe I'll have a breakdown later, when I'm at home.

We'll see.

Oh, and she confirmed that another sister is pregnant as well.


Oh, and it's my birthday. Great birthday present, no?

* BLI AYIN HARA BLI AYIN HARA BLI AYIN HARA - i.e. without the evil eye (Hebrew). I'm not jealous, and don't want to be "casting an evil eye" or whatnot. But I'm entitled to my feelings and need to talk about this somewhere. My mother doesn't even know this yet. And I can't talk to her about this, because she starts crying, and I can't handle that.


Jen said...

I know how you feel.

One day you will have your sweet baby girl and these feelings will be a distant memory.

Shelley said...

I hope you had a happy birthday. And you know that you will one day have your baby girl. Keep that vision in mind.

Ed and Lisa said...

It sucks. I know. But you are paperwork pregnant and that does count for something too! You will have your sweet baby... maybe not before your sisters but you WILL!! I remember people posting comments on my blog that once I got my referral all this waiting would be just a blip on the screen of life... and I was like.. yeah... right! But... it was true! Especially when she was placed in my arms. Hang in there!! And Happy Birthday!!

Lisa :)