Thinking about airline miles

My husband and I have never gotten credit cards with airline miles. We've always used cards that give us cash rebates of 1%-5%. Our favorite card for a while was Discover Card, but now we're loving our Chase Rewards cards (5% back on gas purchases!). Courtesy of our recent trips to Israel, we each have several thousand air miles with British Airways and Continental, respectively.

The question is, considering the long wait for a referral, what's the best way to go about collecting miles? And on which airline, or group of airlines, should we choose to do so? We're going to want to choose an airline with a direct flight from Newark, JFK, or LGA. I absolutely, positively will do anything I can (short of spending over $3000) to travel business class. Is it easier to purchase economy tickets and use miles for a free upgrade? I think Johnny did that but his blog is gone. Yoohoo...Johnny...any input? You always had the best advice!

I would appreciate anyone's input. I've never paid yearly fees for a credit card in the past, but may consider doing so for these purposes. I can also beg-bribe-plead with my boss to let me use his AMEX Gold Card miles, if possible. I have a corporate credit card on his account, so I should be able to access them, assuming that he has enough miles on the account at that point.

And a LID too!

This was totally unexpected, as I had decided it was going to take a very long time until we got our LID. The fact that I was away for a while, then came back to work and am trying desperately to catch up, probably distracted me.

So yes, we've got a LID.

Are you ready?

Really?

Changed your mind yet?

Ok, ok.

Drumroll please!


JUNE 29TH, 2007


Let the countdown begin! 3 weeks down already!

(Let's just hope that it isn't 3 years before referral)

Oh, and yeah WE'RE DTC!

I will probably be flamed for not reporting this earlier ; ) but we were DTC on June 23rd!

We were slightly busy then, which is why I forgot to post it. My baby sister got married in Israel at the end of June, so I was very, very busy and was going without good Internet access for over two weeks.

So, yay, we're DTC*! Woohoo and all that!

We already got our "brown envelope" a while ago, so we're not waiting for that milestone.

Now what? Considering that we may have a two year or longer wait, I'm not going to start a nursery** or something. I also don't think it's healthy to read blogs obsessively for several hours a week for the next two years. I have 470 blogs in my Bloglines account and I can barely keep up. I need something productive to occupy my time. I would love to undertake some house renovations, but we've got adoption expenses to save up for!

So I'm going to go back to college, a college that offers online distance learning and self-study/mentoring courses. It's embarrassing that I still haven't finished my Bachelor's degree, and I'm well into my 30s. My husband not only has a Bachelor's from a nearly-Ivy-League institution, but he also has his first Master's, and credits towards a second Master's. Since I can transfer a lot of credits from my old college, I can finish my degree within two years, while taking my time and not taking on too much of a course load that will affect work hours while leaving me time to complete assignments and study.

Wish me luck.

* DTC = Date To China, i.e. the date one's agency sends the dossier to the CCAA in China. Eventually we'll get our LID, the date that we were Logged In to the CCAA, but I don't expect to get that for a while.

** But I may, MAY peruse a baby furniture catalog. Maybe. I'll keep you updated.

I just broke into a cold sweat. I can shop for baby furniture for a legitimate reason. Um, wow.

Must watch documentary

(Quick note: We should be DTC very soon. Yes, it took way too long, but I'm happy that the papwerwork is done!)

After reading about this documentary video on Harlow's Monkey, I ordered it through our local inter-library system.

First Person Plural is an amazing and incredibly touching story, and should be required watching for parents adopting internationally. Parents adopting domestically should probably watch this as well.

For those of you who haven't seen it: In short, it's a documentary about and by Deann Borshay Liam, a woman who was adopted from Korea at an older age (about 9 years old, I think) by a couple from California.

Reflections on the video (caution: spoilers):
.
.
.
.

This video illustrates how important it is for you to help your internationally adopted child be as comfortable as possible with their native culture, and to learn the language as much as possible. It's heartbreaking to watch Deann, aka Ok Chin, meet with her birthmother and to have to communicate via an interpreter, as Deann knows very little Korean. After meeting her Korean family two or three times, she decides that she needs to have both her families in the same room, and flies to Korea with her American adoptive parents. I just watched the scene where her two mothers meet, and was absoutely heartbroken (and sobbing like a baby). Her American mother was very brave to do this, and I absolutely commend her for trying hard to understand Deann's new reality. It was also heartbreaking to watch Deann's Korean mother hold Deann's hand and tell her, basically: I gave birth to you, but I'm not your mother. (She wasn't pushing her away, just stating a fact). She then said "My heart aches".

Wow. What a choice that poor woman had to make. If you want to see something that gives you a little insight into what a birthmother has to go through, and also see an illustration of what may happen when an international adoptee meets a birth parent (and their biological family - Ok Chin has 5 Korean siblings), First Person Plural is a must-see.

This is something that I'm adding to my wish list and have to make sure to pull out and watch every one in a while, just to remind myself why it's so important to work on cultural knowledge and language with my adopted children.

I'm not as articulate or insightful as Harlow's Monkey. I suggest you read the rest of her post. And keep an eye out for Deann Borshay's upcoming new film, Precious Objects of Desire.

In Response to "Rick"

Dear Rick (see comment on previous post),

Since you did not identify yourself with an email address or a blog, I'm assuming that you meant to just bring up a subject and will probably not follow up. If you do, I'm open to a dialogue.

Anyways, my short response to you is: What Jewish kids languishing in Russian orphanages?

What Jewish kids are available for adoption in the first place?

Answer: few. Most are special needs, which is not my first choice. Many are older, again, not my first choice.

In addition, the general Russian adoption system was in disarray when we initially started our adoption process. I don't know how much it's improved since. I needed something more certain.

My Orthodox friends and I who are adopting/have adopted are all subject to questions such as this. Yet when we looked for Jewish children to adopt, they were nowhere to be found, unless, again, they were special needs. I think that if so many Jewish children or babies were available for adoption, there would be a public campaign for them to be adopted, and it wouldn't take long before they were all in wonderful Jewish homes.

If you happen to know otherwise, please feel free to contact me again. I know quite a few people who would be very interested.

Thinking about reality

I have two sisters who live in Israel, so I don't get to seem them very often. They flew in recently in honor of yet another's sister's wedding. (Yes, the wedding was gorgeous. We had a wonderful time. Thank you.)

Since I have more room than most of my family members (odd how not having kids in a 4 bedroom house makes things pretty spacious), tons of toys, and wireless Internet, they hung out at my house for the majority of the time they were here. I didn't mind, as they usually made me supper as well (bonus!).

One sister called me at work one day, and asks me whether I can babysit for her son that night, as she wants to go visit a friend in another city for a few hours. Yes, that would include putting my nephew to bed at my house, and she would then come back at midnight or so and sleep over.

Panic set in immediately. Wait! Considering the fact that this kid lives in Israel and I haven't seen him for months, I don't know his routine! Does he still take a bottle? What goes in the bottle, and at what temperature? What songs does she sing him before he goes to sleep? Does he need a nightlight? Do I have to leave the door open? And what if she doesn't get back before I go to sleep? I don't have a baby monitor and what if I don't hear him crying? What am I going to do if he starts crying hysterically for his mother? HELP!

I mean, I used to babysit a LOT, but my teen years are very much in the past, and I am totally out of practice. Plus I get a little, um, detail oriented sometimes.

Then, reality hit.

I'm lucky that I can even ask these questions. When we adopt from China, we'll be lucky to know anything about the baby's routine, plus we'll be complete strangers who are taking care of her suddenly, and have to put her to bed at night. If I can't handle my nephew, how in the world am I going to handle my Chinese baby?

I'm pleased to report that everything went smoothly that night. Some tears, but they didn't last long.

And I totally need a baby monitor.

Can't believe I didn't mention this! We have relatives adopting from China!

Right before I went to Montreal and met Mortimer's Mom, I got an email from someone who had answered an agency question I had posted several months before on APC. She had just put two and two together, and realized that she was my husband's second cousin! We've never met her and her husband (I think it's our second cousin through my husband's grandmother's third husband...whatever), but now we definitely will. And, of course, she and her husband are also adopting from China.

How cool is THAT? I thought we would be the only ones in the family, and was gently breaking the news to our mutual grandparents etc...and she and her husband were a year ahead of us!

So guess where our newfound relatives are now?

I'll give you a minute.

.
.
.
.
.
.

Yes. They're in China. They received their daughter, G., today! I'm so excited for them! Their daughter is gorgeous, and very well behaved! We'll see how long that keeps up ;).

So, I am tremendously thrilled, and am motivated to get that last piece of paper for our dossier. Ah! Can't wait until they get home. I wish them my heartfelt congratulations.


P.S. I know that someone is going to bring this up, so I'll head it off now: No, these relatives are not religious Jews, and most likely will not be religious, as her husband is not even Jewish in the first place. But this is cool nonetheless.

P.P.S. No, no blog link. It's password protected. And since I neglected to mention that I have a blog, I don't want to identify her and her family before I let her know that I have one.

P.P.S.S. This is so friggin' cool.

I171H is IN DA HOUSE

You read it right. That last all important form is HERE. It took about 2 months after fingerprinting.

You'd think I'd be happy that this ever-so-crucial document had finally arrived. But no. I was more...confused...than anything else. You see, a couple of weeks ago, the idea of switching countries due to the ever increasing wait times in China became very attractive to me, and I was VERY seriously considering switching to Vietnam. I think I actually researched Vietnam before China when we started this whole process, but the country was closed at the time. I really thought we should switch to Vietnam and adopt a boy (faster than adopting a girl), come home, then submit our paperwork to China for a girl, and put up with the long wait (if it still existed, as I'm expecting a dropoff in applications due to the revised rules) while at least having one child at home.

Our co-religionists have lots of kids. LOTS. My boss has 12. No, than is not a typo. He has 12 kids. I'm the oldest of six. The average number of children per family in our neighborhood is probably five. My friends always said they could see me sitting at my family's Shabbos table, presiding with my husband over our family of 13. My response was that I'd be happy with about five or six.

So now my husband and I are on the "north side" of thirty five, and are possibly looking at a two year wait for our first child, and I really don't want to wait that long! I've already been waiting for 11 years!

But, Vietnam's program does not seem to be incredibly stable, and choosing an agency seems to be even more complex than China. And, ironically, the wait time at some of the more reputable agencies is getting longer (gee, does that sound familiar?).

So, China it remains. Gotta send off that last batch of papers, and I think a largish check (eek), and pray for a LID that is in the near future. Woohoo!

=============================

On another note, how nasty is it to have to go for the yearly checkup at the good 'ol OB/GYN? I think I need to switch doctors. I think he's the baby mill doctor. Every time I go in there, there are at least 3 other women there who are pregnant, or who just had babies. There was a delay before the doctor saw me, and I could not find anything to read. Every single magazine was a baby or parenting magazine, which I can't stand reading right now, as it just reminds me how much longer I have to wait before my baby is here. Think about it. Some of the other ladies there could potentially have two babies before I get my first. I was relieved when I went into the exam room and finally found an O*p*rah magazine.

Plus, the doctor didn't smile at me even ONCE. I think he disagrees with my decision to discontinue fertility treatment. At least he didn't warn me that my clock was ticking (like I don't know that) and that I should get myself to Cornell pronto. I've decided that I've had enough, and I am no longer putting myself through the pain.

I can't wait to stalk back in there with my Chinese baby. Heh.

Thank G-d I only have to go there once a year.

=============================

Hubby and I went on vacation recently, and visited a small Orthodox Jewish community over the weekend. I had a funny feeling before I went there, and, sure enough, when I told a local resident that befriended us that we were adopting from China, she grinned and said: Really? Cuz a local Orthodox Jewish couple also adopted from China. Nice. But, as usual, I could not meet them. They're in Israel for the year.

And so continue my attempts to meet other OJ couples who have adopted from China. I know about three, have seen another one in a restaurant, and have now heard about a fifth. But I just can't seem to actually meet them! I have met and befriended couples who have adopted domestically, and from Korea, Guatemala, and Columbia. But not China. Weird.

=============================

Anyone else watching PBS' China From The Inside? Quite fascinating, and the scenery's gorgeous. It's horrifying how little independence most women have, but I'm glad to see that it's changing. I was even more horrified to hear that 150,000 women a year commit suicide in China, most of them between the ages of about 15-35. If a rural woman's fate is to leave her parent's home and serve the needs of their in laws and new husband for the rest of her life, that can be really depressing.

Check out the article about the gender inequality in China. By 2020, they're expecting that 40 million men will not be able to find a wife. THAT is going to be a problem.

=============================
Yo, yo. It's national delurking month. I've been leaving comments all over the place. Delurk, people. Tell me about yourself!

Interesting video about Shenzhen, China

The NY Times website has an interesting video on its site about the growth of Shenzhen, China, and how its development may be a harbinger of things to come for the rest of China.

It's in two parts; this is the first part. The second part will start automatically at the end.

Happy Chanuka!

Get your own Menorah at ChaiSpace!>

Referrals are in once again!

CCAA got through 14 days again (I think), but that's better than nothing.

Keep an eye on my "They've got their referrals" section...there are already some new blogs there, such as Luca's blog.

And, also big news: Mortimer's Mom has Sprout's referral info! Go on over there and give her a cyber hug. Yay!

Next week, at least 6 people from my referrals section will be leaving to China. Can't wait to see all those "Forever Family" days (I refuse to call them Gotcha Days - that sounds a little scary)!

So many blogs to read...so little time.

Have a good weekend everyone! Hoping to see more referrals on the flipside!

(Jeez. I totally overused the exclamation points on this post. Oh well!!!!!!!)

Don't get me started

I started writing a comment in response to this post, but it got so long I had to blog about it instead. Read the comments on her post too!

Oh, people after my own heart. I love, love, love reading. I can easily do 15-20 books a week when I don't work overtime. Does reading blogs count as reading? Is that why I have way so many blogs on Bloglines? I think so. There aren't enough books about adoption, so I read on the Internet.

So happy Chicago Mama shared this, because now I have recommendations for new authors! Woohoo!

Since I can't afford all the books I would like to read, I am constantly taking them out of the library. Every time I hear of an author or book that's good, I reserve it on the library website (and they'll bring it in from any library on the network). I still do buy plenty of books, but I am very selective. Because I'm out of shelves and must restrain myself from making further purchases.

My dream is to redo my kitchen, bump out the back of the house behind the kitchen to create a family room...and make the living room a library. With the requisite English library ladder. Cuz you know the walls are going to be bookshelves up to the ceiling. And there will be a window seat and many comfortable armchairs.

Be still my heart.

I will admit to re-reading the Little House on the Prairie series and all the Anne of Green Gables books once a year.

My daughter already has 20 board books and I haven't finished paperchasing yet. She also has 100 or so 3rd-6th grade level books, partially because I taught 5th grade for one year. My students were children of immigrants, and had terrible language skills. I knew that reading was the key to a good vocabulary and just general good knowledge, so I shoved books down their throat as much as I could. I paid for the class library myself - and now the books are in my house. Thankfully, I did turn the students on to some good books, so I think I helped them somewhat.

I also use my nephews and nieces as excuses to buy books, so that "they'll have something to do at my house". Heh. That's also why I have an entire house full of toys. People walk into my house and wonder where the kids are.

Many of my favorite authors/series are sci-fi/fantasy. My current faves are Ben Bova, Anne McCaffrey (her Pern and Talent books are the best) and all her co-authors, and most of the Star Trek and Star Wars books. I also just discovered Charles Stross' The Merchant Princes series, and am waiting breathlessly for book 4. I've read all of Robert Heinlein's books. Actually, Space Cadet was my introduction to sci-fi. Mmmmm. Must go buy a copy. My father gave me this book to read when I was 8, and that was what started my sci-fi obsession. He may not have been the most wonderful person (understatement for sure), but I do owe my love of reading to him, and he was a wonderful guide to quality literature. I read Les Miserables and Animal Farm when I was 12, way before most of my other friends.

Some of my more pedestrian favorites:
I like some Fay Kellerman (a little too gory for me though), Jeffrey Archer & Maeve Binchy (long complicated family sagas are yummy - and nice thick books), Robin Cook, Mary Higgins Clark, Nelson Demille, Nicholas Sparks, David Baldacci, J.K. Rowling...there are many more, but I can't remember them right now. I've also read many Jewish novels and general Jewish theology and thought books, but that would be a different post.

I've actually been considering started a book blog. I'm sure there will be a lot more posts there than here! I think I need to test the Blogger beta first, because I'll definitely need categories on that one. Wouldn't it be interesting to track every single book I've read? Hmmmm....

Referrals are here! Woohoo!

Check out my "They've got their referrals" section on the right. Lots of new people!

Nothing new to say otherwise...

What a relief!

One of my big concerns is going to China for two weeks, with our luggage restricted to two suitcases total (!), and having to take food for the husband and I to last most of that time! Believe me, I was worried. A year ago, I knew that I could definitely get kosher food in Hong Kong, Beijing, Shanghai and possibly Kowloon. I also knew that it was doubtful that I would end up adopting from an SWI *anywhere* near any of these places. When I met up with Mortimer's Mom in July, she was raving about how wonderful Chabad of Beijing was, and I was a little confused about why she spent so much time there - until I realized that she's CANADIAN, and the Canadians go back to the consulate/embassy in Beijing to complete their adoption, not Guangzhou! Darn. I guess I should've married a Canadian.

I didn't really see anything about kosher food in Guangzhou, where we'd have to stay at least a week. Nor did I see anything about kosher food in any other area where we might adopt from. This was a little stressful, to be sure! There are so many Labriute meals one would want to ingest over the course of 14 to 17 days, and they take up a lot of space in a suitcase. Yes, we could ship food to China, but I really would not trust that the package I sent to some far flung province in China would actually be there when we got there. There was also the possibility that we would get our TA on very short notice, and not have time to ship food to a particular hotel. Cuz you know we're going to get the referral from Outer Mongolia.

I was so worried (becuase I'm crazy like that), that I was tempted to ask for a referral from one of the SWIs near Guangzhou, because I felt better about being able to trust a shipment arriving and being there for us at the good 'ol White Swan hotel when we got there, since we would be there nearly two weeks. Of course, now that would not be my first choice, as anyone adopting from that province has to stay an extra week!

So...while reading some posts on a wonderful blog (separate post to follow) about the Jews in Kaifeng, I decided to check the Chabad websites in China to see what had been going on lately. I already knew about Chabad of Beijing, Chabad of Hong Kong, and the Shanghai Jewish Center, and had heard that there was a Jewish synagogue in Kowloon from where kosher food could be ordered (the website has disappeared). Oh, and that there was another synagogue in Beijing.

Can you imagine how thrilled I was to find new Chabad Centers in China? Woohoo! There are now Chabad Centers (with food that can be ordered! yay!) in Kowloon, Shenzen, and, most importantly, Guangzhou!

Gah. This is fabulous.

Of course, I'm *still* going to get the referral from the most remote part of China and have to take a suitcase of food to get through a week there. But at least I can look forward to a freshly cooked meal in Guangzhou.

Never mind that it'll be 18 to 24 months before we get our referral. And that we're still waiting to get our I-171-H or whatever it is they call the form nowadays.

And my other nightmare, with is that we'll have to travel on Passover, when there's REALLY nothing to eat.

P.S. Ooh. I just googled "chabad guangzhou" and found this article. It looks like they're planning even more centers in China:

"Thanks to funding from Rohr and other sources, within the next 18 months Chabad plans to inaugurate at least three more centers in China. Avtzon says he's not yet sure where, but likely candidates include the booming industrial cities of Qingdao, Nanjing, Xiamen and Hangzhou.

Chabad also is looking at the former Portuguese colony of Macau, which like nearby Hong Kong is now a special administrative region of China."

Nanjing! Xiamen! Fabulous.

By the time we get to China, there's gonna be a Chabad in every province!

BTW, in a previous post I mentioned that I thought I could get kosher food in Guangzhou, but I think I had it mixed up with Kowloon. Having a Chabad Center there is much better.

Turn on Boston Legal!

At this point in the show, a client has come into the office to sue her/his (not sure at this point - client may be a cro*ss dres*ser or a manly woman!) employer. Client has decided to go for "one of those Chinese babies", "like Angelina Jolie", and when said client asked for maternity leave...the employer said that it's not available for adoptions. So client wants to sue. Oh, and said employer "ca*me on*to me once".

Whoo boy. We're either gonna love or hate this one!

And I'm curious to see what happens. It'll be great to know (at least according to William Shatner, oops, Denny Crain) if an employer has to cover adoption leave under maternity leave.

I really needed something to cheer me up. This is right up my alley.

Not that I'll be taking adoption leave anytime soon, darn it.

Updated:
(The new lawyer just insulted an Asian coroner, describing him as "not a fan of verbs" and a "verb bigot". )

Adoptive parent is a guy. In Dolce & Gabana and Prada. Good taste in designers at least!

Actually, Mr. AP (adoptive parent) has been terminated because of the issues with the aforementioned cr*oss dre*ssing, women in the office uncomfortable with him using the lady's room, making inappropriate jokes...etc.

Yeah, whatever. The rest was boring, and the whole "gettin' one of those China babies" never came up again. Oh well.

Do They Have Salsa in China?: It's a girl, and another girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do They Have Salsa in China?: It's a girl, and another girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

MARY-MIA & ROD HAVE TWINS!!!!!

AAAAHHHH!

SO EXCITED FOR THEM!

Woohoo! They have their own blog!

Ah. Now I no longer have to run searches or randomly run across their videos on YouTube.

Now they have their own website.

Go forth and enjoy!

(hat-tip to pomegranate)

Oh, and an update:
My husband does not read my blog.

A test to see how often my husband reads my blog

Remember this young lady?

Yes.

It's August.

She has not arrived in my mailbox yet.

And my birthday/anniversary isn't for months.

Hmmmmm?????

They're baaaack!

Remember these kids?

They're back with more! Not as good as the first one, but hold out for the end which is a little more amusing.

I still wonder what the kid in the background is doing.

Hooking up with Internet friends

Well, I've finally met someone from the Internet (and no, I wasn't abducted ;) )

Nothing like going on vacation and realizing that you are staying at a hotel only a few blocks away from a bloggy mama's store! Stupid me did not realize that Mortimer's Mom lived in Montreal till the last night of our vacation (or rather, extended weekend - we really were only there for a two whole days). But, thankfully, even amongst the hectic happenings with her leasing a third store and all, I was still able to catch her at her yummy, yummy, store.

I can now state with certainty that Mortimer's Mom is a cool mama and the references to her not requiring lipstick, is because she doesn't need any. She is cute, cute, cute in person!

Unfortunately, hubby was impatient to get back as we had a wedding to attend that night and a long drive ahead of us, and I knew that she was busy with customers, plus a family from her travel group happened to stop by while we were there (so I got to see one really gorgeous three year old), so we didn't have much time to hang out. But it was nice to meet a fellow blogger in person!

Hi Mortimer's Mom!