Do They Have Salsa in China?: It's a girl, and another girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do They Have Salsa in China?: It's a girl, and another girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

MARY-MIA & ROD HAVE TWINS!!!!!

AAAAHHHH!

SO EXCITED FOR THEM!

Woohoo! They have their own blog!

Ah. Now I no longer have to run searches or randomly run across their videos on YouTube.

Now they have their own website.

Go forth and enjoy!

(hat-tip to pomegranate)

Oh, and an update:
My husband does not read my blog.

A test to see how often my husband reads my blog

Remember this young lady?

Yes.

It's August.

She has not arrived in my mailbox yet.

And my birthday/anniversary isn't for months.

Hmmmmm?????

They're baaaack!

Remember these kids?

They're back with more! Not as good as the first one, but hold out for the end which is a little more amusing.

I still wonder what the kid in the background is doing.

Hooking up with Internet friends

Well, I've finally met someone from the Internet (and no, I wasn't abducted ;) )

Nothing like going on vacation and realizing that you are staying at a hotel only a few blocks away from a bloggy mama's store! Stupid me did not realize that Mortimer's Mom lived in Montreal till the last night of our vacation (or rather, extended weekend - we really were only there for a two whole days). But, thankfully, even amongst the hectic happenings with her leasing a third store and all, I was still able to catch her at her yummy, yummy, store.

I can now state with certainty that Mortimer's Mom is a cool mama and the references to her not requiring lipstick, is because she doesn't need any. She is cute, cute, cute in person!

Unfortunately, hubby was impatient to get back as we had a wedding to attend that night and a long drive ahead of us, and I knew that she was busy with customers, plus a family from her travel group happened to stop by while we were there (so I got to see one really gorgeous three year old), so we didn't have much time to hang out. But it was nice to meet a fellow blogger in person!

Hi Mortimer's Mom!

Stupid fertility themed headlines

I'm not even going to go through the courtesy of linking to them. If you want to find them, they're on Yahoo News and elsewhere I'm sure.

Psychotherapy helps infertile 'superwomen'
Just relax and you'll get pregnant!

But then, you can quit the pychotherapy, since:
Some stress during pregnancy may be good for baby

But, only some, not too much!
Pregnancy stress 'passed to baby'


A quote from another story about multiple births from IVFs:

He added that transferring one embryo gives almost the same result as two but without the risk of multiple births or the added costs of caring for premature infants.

Really? "Almost"? I guess the only difference is that it's one less, so that's not much, is it? That's not *really* a difference, is it?

Benefits of fertility treatment outweigh costs: study
Ya think?
(they were focusing on the overall benefit to the government and society by having another person in the world, but still, stupid headline).

And this one is plain funny:
Sex is essential, kids aren't
(apparently, 30% of German women just aren't interested in having kids, and the government is horrified).


This is why I read blogs, not the news ;).

Notes from the "I Do...Let's Eat" Chinese wedding episode

Notes from the TV show tonight - I have no idea if these are all considered traditional. The groom's family (Chris) was from Hong Kong, and very traditional. The bride's family (Amy) lives in the US and are more Westernized. They had a traditional Western, Christian ceremony first, then had a Chinese banquet at a hotel.

• When the groom comes to pick up his bride, he has to get past the bridesmaids, who have to approve of him before they let him see her. They make him perform some physical tasks, testing his physical prowess, seeing how much money he has, and how smart he has.
• But these bridesmaids didn't seem to ask for much.
• The wedding has to be very elaborate, as it shows the family's stature & financial status.
• First course: Roast suckling pig.
• But the bride, groom & bridesmaids had chicken nuggets in the limo on the way to the church.
• While the guests had appetizers, the bride and groom changed to traditional Chinese attire (gorgeous!), and had a tea ceremony for their parents and grandparents to show their honor for them.
• Then, BACK they went into their Western dress and joined the guests for dinner. On to the roast suckling pig!
• Second course: shark's fin soup, the most important part of the entire meal, which portrays the host's wealth. The Chinese loved the soup. Westerners described it as "watery jello".
• Between the courses, they have a little fun, like playing a version of The Newlywed's Game with the bride and groom. Cute.
• 5th course: Sea cucumber and abalone.
• 6th course: Lobster.
• Overall...10 courses. Before the dessert buffet and wedding cake!
• The couple loved the whole meal...but Chris says the best part was marrying Amy (awwww!).
• The couple went into the kitchen to thank the kitchen staff, which was very nice.

I was a little disappointed that this couple barely wore traditional Chinese attire. I know that it's up to the couple, though. My sister in law's good friend, who is Chinese, married a man who was also Chinese (even though that wasn't always her plan). They had a Chinese banquet after their Western ceremony, wearing their traditional Chinese clothing the entire time. And I'm pretty sure that they had 15 courses that went on for hours. But I don't think either wedding had one dish of potentially kosher food at all!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Oh this is too funny. The next episode of the show, immediately following the Chinese wedding, is a Russian Jewish wedding, which is strictly kosher! The contrast could not be greater.

And the announcer is butchering the pronounciation of all the Hebrew words...ha ha ha ha ha.

If any of you are watching TV RIGHT NOW...

If you're watching TV (at least on the East Coast) at this moment, and you have cable, switch over to WE. They're running an episode of "I Do...Let's Eat", a show I've never seen before.

Of course, the first couple they're featuring is a Chinese-American couple, and their very, very traditional Chinese wedding.

All I can say is dried shark fin looks very interesting. And darn expensive at $80 a bowl!

Not that I'll ever have to eat it. Shark is definitely not kosher!

So close....

So we're eating lunch at a kosher restaurant in Teaneck today along with other family members today. They had the ceremony for my mother-in-law's mother's gravestone dedication, and afterwards she took us and select friends and relatives of hers out to a popular kosher eatery. W

I had a really good wrap, enjoyed my food and catching up with various relatives who we don't normally spend much time with. Went to um, powder my nose. Came back, sat down and casually eyed the father and daughter at the cash register. And immediately noted that the back of the daughter's head consisted of very, very shiny stick-straight gorgeous black hair. It looked like Chinese hair.

I breathlessly waited for her to turn around, preferably before the father finished paying. She finally did...and yup, she was Chinese. Since I don't think there are any Orthodox Jewish Chinese women married to Orthodox Jewish guys in Teaneck...she had to be adopted.

First, I punched my husband (lightly...on the leg...didn't want to make a scene) and whispered "HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE!!!!". I had just put on my sunglasses as the sun glare had gotten pretty bad and I was starting to get a headache, but didn't want to look all stalkerish when trying to talk to this dad, so I took them off. Stood up, looked at him, wanting to be brave and start a conversation with another adoptive parent, and....waited for him to get off his cell phone.

He left, with his daughter, with the cellphone glued to his ear. Dammit! Missed!

He actually came back because he had left a bag in the restaurant, and I actually managed to make eye contact, but he was STILL on his phone. Dammit again.

He then came back a third time, probably because he left something at his table. But he didn't come back through the main door. I actually sent my husband over to the other dining room to see if they were in there. I think I scared him and he decided to go out through a different door.

Sheesh. This is the second time this has happened to me! Why am I the freaky woman who scares off other adoptive parents! Aaahhhh!

So I was close to meeting another Orthodox family with an adopted daughter from China...but not.

Sigh.

One milestone reached

We finally sent in our I-600-A and our State security check forms. Woohoo! $625 to make sure we aren't axe murderers! Yay!

All I'm sayin' is that we didn't have to do this before our multiple fertility procedures. They should. With all the hormones I was on, I probably would have completely trashed the fertility clinic if I had heard all the negative pregnancy test results in the office. Instead, I was tempted to crash my car. They should definitely do criminal background checks on fertility patients.

We also sent in a batch of paperwork to our agency, which has all been approved. Whew.

What haven't we sent in?

Physical forms: This deserves a blog post of its own, but I don't feel like retelling the whole sordid story. All I'm going to say is once we *finally* have those completed forms in our hands (which we started chasing back in MARCH), we will immediately switch doctors, and also notify a local medical referral agency that this doctor is a complete and total idiot. I can't wait. Of course, this is also holding up our home study.

Guardianship form: Quite frankly, this is a tough one. None of our immediate family qualifies, and I really feel like it's a burden to ask our good friends to sign this. Technically, this form is not legally binding and we can designate someone else as a guardian in our wills, but this still seems like a lot to ask from someone. And they already wrote us a referral letter. Plus the wife in this couple is due, like, any minute. I think we'll wait a couple more weeks.

Pictures: Aack. We really do not have too many good pictures of the two of us, let alone of us and our family. We took some pictures at The Picture People in March and ended up with one good pose, and may have finally taken some nice shots last week when we were all dressed up before a wedding. I also had 90% of my family over at our house last week for a get-together/birthday party, and in the pictures we took of the family sitting around the table, only one niece is sticking her tongue out, so they're not *too* bad. I think we just need a couple more shots of the two of us, then I have to um, clean, and then take pictures of the house. So the end may be in sight. Oh, and we still need passport pictures. Just remembered.

Autobiographies: Darn. I forgot about this. I was sincerely hoping that we wouldn't have to write these, as this should have been covered in our homestudy (we used a local social worker/adoption agency, as our adoption agency is not from our state). They told us we had to write one anyways.

Financial Statement: I really don't want to send it in with the number of say, zero, in the savings column. My boss owes me: a) a bonus for a large project I've been handling the past 18 months and b) a raise. He has promised to come thru with these in 4 weeks. He's handling a large project right now that will have significant ramifications, and which I am helping with, so I understand why he can't sit down and evaluate my work right now. In a way, it's a compliment. I've been with my company nearly 10 years and work closely with him, and hold a senior position within the company. But it also means that I don't get automatic pay raises. They come more sporadically, but they're usually pretty significant. So we could be pretty flush in a month, or at least in a slightly better financial situation. The day that money hits our bank account is the day our financial statement hits the mailbox. But it's one thing that I can't cross off our list.

And that's it! It doesn't sound so bad now.

But the local Department of Homeland Security is running on a three month processing time for I-600-A's. I guess while we patiently wait for that precious I-171-H, we will learn to be patient for that every elusive referral...for which I am preparing myself to wait up to 24 months. Two freakin' years.

Hope I can handle that.

06/11/06 Edited to add:

You're probably wondering why it took us over a month to send in our I-600-A since I promised a potential travel-mate that I would send it in . That would be because we a) lost my husband's birth certificate, and, b) NY State's "expedited" option screwed up and took a few weeks to send us a new one, even though it should have arrived within a week. We may have needed the new one anyways, since the version we did have at one point was not a complete birth certificate.

Yummy!

While visiting a "large city with a large concentration of Orthodox Jews" recently (I'll let you guess where), I stopped into the only store I like in the area.

A Jewish book store.

Can't stand the city otherwise. Too crowded, too many people, too much triple parking. I need wide open spaces with flowers and trees.

So, I'm cruisin' around the store, seeing if there are any books that catch my eye, and I see this.

(Can you tell that I figured out how to add images to Blogger?)

I think I gasped and grabbed it off the shelf like it was a diamond.

From Lokshein to Lo Mein, written by Donald Seigel, is a very simple cookbook that has all kosher Chinese recipes. The recipes appear to be very simple, and provide workarounds for how to make Chinese food that isn't treif (non-kosher). For example, I've bought some Chinese vegetable buns from the freezer section in my local market. They tasted horrible when I "steamed" them in the microwave, and knew that they need some sort of sauce, but I wasn't sure what. Of course, I could have Googled it, but I don't have a computer in the kitchen (yet). This cookbook recommends a specific sauce to go with it, and explains how I can steam things in my wok. It has great stir fry recipes that I can't wait to try, and all kinds of chicken, beef and tofu dishes that I've always wanted to try myself.

It's also very funny, and provides a little background about the relationships between the Chinese and the Jews. The section about "the Jewish Experience in China" is very enlightening. Apparently Jews had been in China hundreds and hundreds of years ago, and were so numerous at one point that an emperor celebrated Jewish holidays. That really blew my mind. Even our esteemed President, George W. Bush, barely knows about Chanukah.

Buy the book, people. It's really not that expensive - it's $19.95 on Amazon (and that's what I paid in the store).

Meet Reyna!

I've seen the Gali Girls website in the past, a website that sells Jewish oriented dolls and books, and thought it was a nice idea.

But now they've done something that American Girl hasn't been able to do. They've come out with a Chinese doll and accompanying book.

Reyna is a little girl who is growing up in Kaifeng in 1175 and undergoing all kinds of exciting adventures as detailed in her book, Reyna and the Jade Star. She comes in traditional Chinese dress, with a magen david necklace, a Shabbat kit, and has other available outfits.

Unfortunately, it's not coming out until July. Not soon enough for me!

(My husband has been notified that he MAY WANT TO PURCHASE A PRESENT FOR ME AT THE BEGINNING OF JULY. AND THE EXACT NATURE OF SUCH PRESENT HAS ALSO BEEN INDICATED. That's all I'm saying).

(Courtesy of Ellen from my jfwcc group)

Yes, I admit it. We've been procrastinating.

I actually put in a huge amount of effort into getting the loads and loads of documents neccessary for our dossier, right before Passover, but nothing since. There's just been a lot going on, plus we're waiting for a new copy of my husband's birth certificate.

But, I got a good kick in the rear yesterday. We finally attended our first FCC event. We joined sometime in March or April, and immediately started getting A LOT of emails. The local FCCs are very, very busy, and NYC has a lot of China oriented events that FCC advertises. However, being that we're Orthodox Jews, we cannot attend the Saturday events or events held in churches. And we're not too comfortable attending events in treif (non-kosher) restaurants. But, finally, a local chapter was having a get-together for parents who were waiting or recently returned. It wasn't on Saturday, in a church or in a restaurant. Just someone's back yard. Again, we couldn't eat their food, but that's not such a big deal.

We showed up a little late so that most of the attendees would have pretty much eaten already (and wouldn't focus on us sitting there, sipping our Cokes while they has sushi and salads and other yummy looking food), and brought a kosher dessert to share. I was actually hoping to go a little incognito. I didn't want to make a big deal about our religion. My wig doesn't look that, um, wiggy, and my husband was dressed in his casual clothes with a baseball cap. Of course, the hostess, who isn't even Jewish, works at a Jewish Day School and recognized our status as an Orthodox couple immediately! Oh well.

Not that I minded being recognized as an Orthodox Jew, it's just that I didn't want it to put up too many barriers, or make the hostess uncomfortable about us not eating, etc. She apologized about 10 times. And we probably gave the other non-religous Jews there guilt complexes. But, everyone welcomed us very nicely and we met about 6 other couples. We got to drool over see some other Chinese adoptees of various ages (the oldest was 9), and even got to meet a mother and daughter who just came back from China three weeks ago. Her daughter seemed to be very well adjusted, and, while staying in her mother's arms, interacted with everyone else in a positive manner.

Ok. I admit it. I GOT TO TOUCH A CHINESE BABY. FINALLY.

It may not have been my baby, but I finally MET ONE IN THE FLESH.

I feel better now.

The other good part, other than the obvious positives of being able to network with other adoptive parents and sit around and complain about paperchasing and deadlines and referral times, is that I met another future adoptive mom (and dad, but I bonded with the mom) who is also using my agency and who sent out her I-600-A last week. We both realized that if I get my act together and send out my I-600-A this week, we can probably DTC together.

Oh my. I may have actually met a travel companion. And we really, really hit it off.

I am SO EXCITED NOW. And it will help to have a friend going thru the same process, getting on my case about paperwork. It's wonderful. Sometimes you just need that push!

So, hi, L! I hope we travel together! I'll email you tomorrow after we send out our document so that you don't yell at me on the phone!

Scott outdoes himself again (another great adoption video!)

Please visit The Cady Chase again. Scott has posted the most wonderful video of an SWI visit that I've EVER seen. Absolutely beautiful. They were so privileged to be able to meet their daughter's caretaker and thank her in person. Karen did a great job at showing her appreciation.

Oh phooey. I can't figure out how to link directly to that post (darn Macs!). Please go to their website and look for the posting titled "Hello Again" on 04/21/06.

And check out the rest of the videos. Cady is quite the little dancer! And giggler! And...is just overall cute.

Against All Odds, Twin Girls Reunited - CBS News

Against All Odds, Twin Girls Reunited - CBS News

I think this is the third time that I've heard about a pair of separately adopted girls from China being recognized as twins. What's really interesting is that the girls have made references to their missing twins before the relationship is discovered, like one girl telling her mother that she has a "hole in her heart", or asking over and over "where is my sister?", when she had no sister and her parents had no intentions of adopting another baby. There's probably no worse feeling than missing a twin that you used to know. I'm so glad that these girls found each other.

It's so nice to see these two (probably fraternal twin) sisters together! Enjoy the video!

For all of you out there who just can't wait for the matza...

Get more Matzah at ChaiSpace!




hint: click on the matza

Ok, this isn't working right now, but I'll leave it up in case it does decide to work later. Blogger has been a little funky lately.

You've Got Male?!

J of pomegranate has a great post up about the fact that 12.5% of the China referrals received by Spanish parents most recently were for boys, not girls. Because everyone associates the popularity of the Chinese adoption program with the girl abandonment (and boy preference) issue in China, these statistics are quite surprising. I think most, if not all, male adoptions from China are SN (Special Needs) adoptions.

What's funny is that I had a dream about this a few months ago. I dreamt that when we arrived in China and explained at the passport check desk why we were there, the soldiers manning the desk looked us up in the computer, and told us that our records were in order. And that our SON'S Red Army clearance had been processed, so we would be able to leave the country without a problem.

WHAT?

A boy?

Where did this come from? In my dream, even the referral was for a GIRL, so this was quite a surprise. But we figured that we needed to get past passport control and start talking to our agency, so we let it go.

And I don't remember what happened after that.

How weird is that? I can just see that happening. Because THAT'S MY LIFE. If there is some possibility of something happening during an event, such as my a** of my doctor sending me to the lab with an HIV request form, saying "don't worry, they'll accept it"...the lab won't accept it.

And when I have 12 eggs in an IVF cycle (not a great number in the first place), and some of them should fertilize (but, of course, it's possible that none will)...NONE of them will fertilize.

Which is why I'm adopting. I just can't deal with that crap anymore. (Imma, if you're reading this blog, sorry! Sometimes you just gotta curse!)

But how much do you want to bet that I'll end up with a boy referral, even though I requested a girl?

Now, I don't really care whether it's a boy or a girl. G-d willing, we're hoping to adopt at least a few kids. I was thinking of possibly doing two Chinese girl adoptions, and then maybe requesting a Chinese boy, or, if the likelihood of receiving a healthy boy referral from China was remote, possibly adopting a boy from Korea. Mentally, though, I'm preparing for a girl. But at the back of my mind, I know that if anyone's going to get an unexpected boy referral...it'll be me.

Editing notes: Why did I have to teach Blogger spellcheck the word blog? How weird is that?

Oh, and the HIV test was for my adoption physical. And I still don't have the results. Qu*est Di*agnostics should be closed down for ineptitude. So should that doctor's office.

This is a MUST LISTEN

YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS BROADCAST.

This is a radio broadcast from On Point Radio titled "Adopted Chinese Children". Its focus is China adoption, but they also discuss Korean adoption, simply because Korean adoptees are old enough for us to learn from them. Yes, it's long, but very worth listening to. You'll be horrified (and maybe cry) somewhere in the middle, but at the end, you'll be sobbing. I'm still crying.

But it's good stuff.

Please listen.

I can tell you one thing. I will do my utmost to make sure that my daughter has as much exposure as possible to fellow adoptees, preferably Chinese. When you hear the story in the middle, you'll understand why.

I *am* working on establishing relationships with other religous Jewish parents who have adopted from China. I already am close with a family who recently adopted from Korea, and at the party for their son, I met two other adoptive families, one who had also adopted from Korea, and one who adopted from Guatemala. They were very happy to meet us. We know we're going to need all the support we can get!

I'm also still trying to track down two more families in the area, Orthodox Jews who adopted from China. It hasn't been easy, but I *am* spending more time on paperwork now than on trying to track them down.... Establishing contact with them will be more important later when we have to endure the GREAT WAIT (which, to my dismay, I estimate may take at least 12 months after our dossier is sent to China, maybe even up to 18 months). I'll probably want to meet up with them and cry over their daughter.

I'm emotional like that.

Darn, I'm still crying over the radio presentation. Must stop.

(Link to radio broadcast courtesy of an adoptive family Yahoo group)

(Adoption) Video Night

I found quite a few videos tonight that I have to share.

First, a website not listed in my blogroll:
The Cady Chase
Scott & Karen's site (no, not the very famous Scott & Karen's Gwenblog, this is another Scott & Karen's website) *would* be listed in my blogroll if I could figure out how to subscribe to their feed. Really great website, and (probably since he's working on a Mac), he has *great* videos of their recent adoption.

While watching his videos on YouTube, I also found the following:
Adoption of our son Shen (he already has an older sister!)and
A Cambodian adoption video, the first one I've seen!. This was three years ago - I don't think Cambodia is open for adoption right now. This little girl is a CUTIE. It was interesting to see videos of some parts of Cambodia. I thought some parts of China were, um, rustic. I think Cambodia (or at least parts of the country) are worse off. Even the government offices looked pretty poor.

Wait. I just realized that the little girl from the Cambodian adoption video is the older sister from the Chinese boy adoption video! Wow.

Voyage to Meet Aveleen is also really good. This Canadian couple just met their daughter this past December, and she looks really tiny! She must have been very young at referral time. This video has a lot of great shots of Chinese architecture, Chinese people and various attractions.

There's lots more...but I have got to get to sleep. Search for "adoption" on youtube (skip the pet adoption videos), and you'll find a lot of great adoption videos.

Great, great pictures

Love Without Boundaries, a website for

a group of volunteers around the world who have realized that people who have a pure love for helping children can truly make a difference. We all donate our time and gifts in an attempt to brighten the lives of some of the world's most vulnerable children.

has posted their "Top 10 Pictures of 2005",. Such beautiful pictures! There were quite a few that made me cry....LWB seems to be a very worthy organization, going to China and helping the babies who need it most. They get help for babies who are cleft affected, get them to orphanages who can devote enough time to just FEED them, and get them appropriate medical care. They also provide foster care for children so that they do not have to stay in orphanages, and help orphanage provide the children's most basic needs: Food. Formula. Rice cereal. Things that you and I can pick up easily at the grocery store a short distance away, but that the orphanage cannot afford.

Check them out. And support them if you can.